Opportunities for examining our relationship with ourselves are seemingly endless. Delving in deeply to dissect the way we interact with our world is part of the grand reason we are alive in this physical realm.
Our relationship with ourselves reflects greatly in our children, and that any hope for humanity relies upon us holding space for a conscious, empowered, inspired, genius, responsible, sustainable, honorable new generation of beings. If we can keep from squashing their divine existence out of them and instead immerse ourselves in the magnificence of their presence, the whole world and everything we know about it could miraculously change.
I wish to open dialogue about raising children, and specifically now about discipline/punishment. I don’t really want to necessarily delve into the intricacies/similarities/differences between discipline and punishment, but care more about the effectiveness of it, the perceived need for it, and any other alternatives that might exist to it.
Most people (at least in the U.S.) for many generations have been raised with a great amount of discipline. Children are seen as needing to adhere to certain social standards, and raised to behave in an acceptable manner as is decided by those who have come before and are around them. When children are unruly, or "misbehave", discipline has been seen as important to correct and control their behavior. Time outs on a chair in the corner, being isolated in the bedroom, taking away privileges or grounding, as well as spanking have been, and still are, quite the norm in many parent/child relationships.
When I grew up it was very common for children to be spanked, not only at home, but also at school, often hearing from the spanker: "This hurts me more than it hurts you, believe me!" When the spanker chooses to believe spanking is actually helping the child, it sends the message that this is what love is.
I also got spanked on occasion as a child, though not nearly as often as my siblings. I was a keen observer of their behaviors and the consequences that ensued, and I figured out how to respond by "behaving" when I heard the words "Do I need to take off my belt?". The threats and actual spankings did serve to change my behavior, though I feel certain that was not the most beneficial long-term way to make me be a better person.
In being involved in the raising of children, being an advocate for children, and in sharing perspectives on parenting for several decades, it is very apparent that many people who got heavily disciplined as children, especially spanked, believe they deserved it. They believe they were unruly, out of line, or just plain bad. As my brother once told me “I got spanked, I deserved it, and I am better for it. My kids are now good kids and they also got what they deserved.” Often children who were disciplined by corporal punishment grew up and now also spank their children, using the same reasons/excuses their parents did to exert control over them.
The pattern of disciplining children in our society is still "normal". It is said, and commonly accepted, that disciplining children teaches them to make good choices, to manage their emotions, teaches them skills to become responsible adults, helps them manage anxiety, and to become honest, kind and sharing people.
It is our duty and our responsibility to question everything in our lives and upgrade to the most conscious perspective possible, not just to take what is "normal" as truth. It is necessary to examine the way we raise our children, our perceived need to control them, or to make them be how we find them acceptable to be.
We are generating the next generation of human beings.
How they turn out, depends on what we do today.
We must seriously consider our intentions, our actions,
and how they will affect our children for their entire lifetime,
and most likely, generations to come.
I WOULD LOVE YOUR FEEDBACK:
What forms of discipline did you experience as a child?
Do you discipline your children?
If so, do you discipline them using the same/similar methods used on you?
Do you consider a disciplined existence to be fear based or love based?
Do you have any insight on a better way?
I live at the @gardenofeden in Texas, where children are honored as divine beings. The vision of a responsible and empowered existence is being exemplified everyday, a truly joyous and extraordinary life based on the founder @quinneaker's infinite perspective. Learn more about life in our sustainable community:
My Steemit Best Undiscovered Author Award winning post: Imagine the Potential for Life If Children Grew Up with True Freedom in a World of Self Design: Here is a Real Example of Children Living Such a Life
A Taste of The Abundantly Free Life in Our Sustainable Eco-Village