First of all, it is important to clarify that happiness is not a goal nor a place to reach, but it is the path, the power to enjoy every day of our lives fully taking advantage of each experience despite adversity.
The first step we have to take is to learn to control our thoughts because they determine our well-being (or discomfort) much more than we usually believe. If they ask you: What do you think determines what you feel good or bad about? what happens to you in life or how do you interpret what happens to you? Most people would respond that what happens to us is what makes us feel good or bad. Let's see it with an example:
It's Monday morning, the alarm goes off at 06.30, you have to go to work (a job that does not particularly excite you but pays the bills at the end of the month), it's cold and it's raining outside.
You have two options about how to start your day
The first, saying something like: "Again, Monday, I do not want to get up, I do not want to go to that job that I do not like at all. It is raining, I hate rain in the morning. Well, the week has started “well”, this can only get worse ... ".
And the second one: "Well, it's time to get up and start the week. I do not especially like this job but thanks to it I have been able to become independent and I am learning many things that will be good for me when I decide to go and find a better job ... ".
Which of the two options do you think you will feel better with? With which of the two will you start and face the day better? The reality is that in any case you have to get up and go to work, no matter how much you hate and grumble at the end you will get out of bed, so ... why not do it in a good or better mood?
In the same situation, one person may feel completely unhappy, another may feel more or less indifferent and another may even feel lucky. The difference is in how each one (or even the same person at different times) interprets that situation. Each one of us has the capacity or the freedom to choose the thoughts that will determine to a large extent how we are going to feel and how we are going to act. It is no longer useful to blame others about what happens to us because the one who has the final say on how we feel and consequently how we act is ourselves.
On the other hand, we need to accept the fact there will always be some complicated situations in our lives, that might cause us negative emotions (which are totally ok to experience), nevertheless, even though we can feel sadness, it is up to us if we allow depression to take over or not. We can always be in control of our emotional state, no matter what circumstances life throws at us.
Now stop and think about how you habitually interpret the situations of the day to day, do you usually do it in a negative way? Do you choose the option that makes you feel worse? Or are you trying to interpret it more realistically? And notice that I say realistically because in most cases it is not even necessary to make an optimistic and positive interpretation, only realistic, so that the internal phrases that we repeat are not harmful towards us.
If in your case, you tend to stay with the negative (and destructive) thoughts, the next time one pass through your mind, capture it, analyze how realistic it is, rely on facts and realize if it is helping you to achieve your goals and feel better If not, try to replace it with another more positive (and constructive) thought, that is more realistic and above all helps you feel better. At first this task will be complicated but with practice (like almost everything in this life) you will find it easier until it even comes out without having to make many efforts.
Conclusion
No matter what happens to us, we can always choose how are we going to think and feel towards it, in most situations there is a positive perspective and negative, and its only up to us which one to take. I think its fair to say that taking the positive perspective will always be much more beneficial to our mental health.
Not only that, choosing to take the positive side of things can also makes us more productive, simply because of the fact of having a good mood improves our energy and the atmosphere around us.
All images are from pixabay
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