A lot of people tell me that all these positive talks, motivational talks and reads are good to listen, but not practical in real life. Well so today I want to share some of my real life experiences where I have witnessed how these small motivations makes a difference in one’s life.
This was some years back, when I came across a book, “Shadows in Cages”, I have also dedicated my today’s title to it. This book is all about life of women in Indian Prisons, how they are kept, treated and what happens to their children. It was very heart breaking to read. It described how the children were separated from their mothers once they reached the age of 5 and then were sent to Rehabilitation Centers never to be seen again. Even till the age of 5 when they are allowed to be with their mothers in the Prison, their life is full of misery, the only comfort is that they are with their mothers.
I felt a lot of pain while reading this book and for a long time, it went on in my head. So I decided that I want to do something in this area. It was not my first time that I was trying to get into any type of service work, I was already into it, mostly working with the education of slum children. Children have always been close to my heart and most of my work revolves around them. But this was something very different, first of all it’s not possible to get into Prisons since you need to be authorized in a certain way to do it.
My next action was I connected with the author of this book Ruzbeh Bharucha and I let him know about how I felt and asked for his guidance as to how can I go ahead and make some difference to them. He was very kind to respond and mentioned that it would be a hell for me going to prisons since I did not have those kind of connections and it was not very easy to do it unless I had some organization of my own or very high level contacts. Then he suggested, if I am very keen then there is one possibility, and that was the Remand homes/Rehabilitation Centres where the children after 5 years are shifted, I could work with them along with the support of some NGO.
This was the ray of light for me, I set my intention and then started doing my research work about these homes. It is said that when you desire for something very strongly the whole of the universe comes to your help, and exactly that’s what happened. In a few day’s time I received a call from one of my friend who had his own NGO that they are planning to start working with one of the Remand homes and that if I wish to join them, provided I am willing to sacrifice my most important day and time of the week – Sunday afternoon. I definitely had no second thoughts and jumped up with the offer. I could not believe that this came walking to me from front. It was a miracle for me.
So after all the planning, the following Sunday was my first visit to the Boys Remand Home, I still cannot forget the sight as the first sight of it brought me to tears. The place was one big room, where more than 100+ children stayed. They all had an overall space of 1 thin mattress and their belongings were 3 to 4 pairs of clothes, 1 footwear and some very basic utilities like comb, soap, etc. that’s it. At the end of the room was a corridor, where there were a couple of toilets. There was a kind of a stench in this place which for the first timer is very uncomfortable. I was somewhat used to it, while working in the slums. One thing I noticed was all the children were in a very happy state of mind, they were very eager to spend time with us.
The thoughts that were running all through out in my mind were, in the outside world we have the least idea of what life can be for some. We have so much of luxury to our comfort and we still feel unsatisfied and desire for more.
Our group’s mission was to spend the afternoon with the children giving our best to them. So as per our forte we were to build up our own plan, for me storytelling and some brain exercise is best I can go with or some art work, so I decided to split my time up with each of these. In our group we had some musicians too who played guitar for them and lot of other activities. As we progressed we observed that each of the child had some or the other talent, some were very good at drawing, some at music, dance, games and they were all so eager to display their talent.
Nothing bothered them, the stench, the life, the stay, the food they did not have any complaints for anything around, rather they were all in high spirits doing what they enjoyed the most.
So week on week I started building a very good bond with them, Every Sunday they used to eagerly wait and as soon as they used to see us coming they would run and hug us tight, these hugs were some most beautiful moments of my life, so much unconditional love and joy in real sense that no luxury can bring. I also started taking my son along who was then 13, I wanted him to see the hard realities of life and know that life is not so simple and easy for everyone.
The little boy in white next to me is my son, I am glad I got the opportunity to teach him something so valuable
During my sessions with them, I did a lot of motivational talking with them, to my surprise these kids whose life at that point of time felt so meaningless, each one had a big dream. They wanted to become big in life and they used to tell me, sister wait and watch I will become this and that. It was the true spirit of life. Even in those circumstances there was nothing that they felt sorry about, seemed like each one had a vision to move ahead.
This was something so amazing. People who have everything even with little failures in life end up sucking and believing that the whole life is their enemy and give up on all hopes. One heart break, one failure and people want to commit suicide. Whereas here when one has nothing, there is still so much zeal and hope that one day the world will be at their feet.
I continued with this mission for a couple of years and then we had to stop it for some reasons, but whatever time I spent with them was a complete satisfaction for me and the best part of my life.
Look at them, they all look so full of Life
Coming to me, as a child I too had a very difficult childhood, and was raised in an orphanage and also in my adulthood there were lot of failures that I faced. I will not say I was a very strong person then, constant failures and the downside of life always made me think a lot as to why life is so tough for some and so gentle for some. But yes, I was very determined that no matter what my time is right now, I will make it a beautiful life for me one day. Of course there was a lot of testing and beating on the way, but today I am very happy and satisfied with what I have made of my life. The only thing is that I never gave up, I would have temporary set backs and then bounce back again. Reading had always been my passion and I read a lot of motivational life changing books. At times I used to doubt but then there was always a hope that if things can work out for so many people then why not me. I am glad for all the experiences of my life, cause if I would had not had them, may be I would not be the person I am today.
As a child I used to get lot of sympathy and sorry feeling from lot of people, and I used to hate it. That was the time when I decided that when I grow up, I will never feel sorry for anyone nor show sympathy rather I will do whatever best in my capacity for anyone and help them in whatever way I can to make their dreams come true.
When I had spend time with the children at the remand home, I saw my reflection in them and yes I believe that all of them will make it beautiful for them someday
You may be going through the worst of the situations in life, don’t feel sorry for yourself, don’t try to gain sympathy from people, that will only take you behind in life and not any further. Be it whatever situation, face it as a challenge. In all my years of counselling I have not come across a single person who have not had difficult times in life. Everyone will have some or the other challenge, some in childhood, some when they grow up. What is the approach is all that matters, you can sulk and brood and get miserable, or you can put your brains to work and find out solutions. It is entirely your choice. Its ok to slump back at times, but learn to bounce back and not stay in it for long. Always keep the flame of HOPE on.
I have always believed in Walk the Talk, so whatever I write is always from my experiences and learning and I believe that Only hard work and positive attitude takes you to success, there are no shortcuts in life, be it experiences or learning. And when you reach the top, be humble and never look down onto anyone.
Thank You
If you enjoyed reading this blog, You may also visit my other blogs.
@nainaztengra/people-with-goals-succeed-is-it-true
@nainaztengra/significance-and-effects-of-a-new-moon
@nainaztengra/my-introduction-my-story-all-about-me
@nainaztengra/meditation-a-way-of-life-part-2
