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Niigata City's Minato Tunnel, which runs underneath the mouth of Japan's longest river, the Shinanogawa.
This is where I run. Well, one of the places.
I like this course because I can leave my house, hit the tunnel, loop around, and head back home through the other side of the tunnel. All in all the run is just about 5 miles. Perfect.
The tunnel runs underneath the Shinano River. It's actually under the river bed. It goes down, flattens out at the bottom, and then climbs back up again. The Shinano River's name, directly translated, means something along the lines of "concentrated faith/trust/belief river." Pretty cool, right?
Well, anyway, I don't want to wax fruity symbolic here, but something kind of metaphorical did happen to me tonight on my run. Similar things have happened before, but this was such an example of the outer world mirroring my internal world that I thought it might be worth mentioning.
Classic rock and the tunnel under the noise.
I downloaded a new playlist on Apple Music tonight before leaving the house. It's a classic rock playlist, and has some really cool stuff on it, and a lot of stuff I wouldn't necessarily call "classic rock," but I guess all that is changing, as time continues to pass, and the "music of my youth," gets old and becomes "classic."
Anyway, when I first set out to run tonight I felt heavy and out of breath. Tired. This could have to do with the cookies and milk I decided to eat not too long before running (smart, I know), but there was also something else. The shuffle feature on my phone seemed to be single-handedly choosing the most horrible songs on the list. Cheesy lyrics, terrible drums, and just an overall impression of greasy seventies leotard-tight-jeans-belt-buckle posturing southern rock "workin' man" bullshit. It's hard to explain, but it wasn't helping me run.
When I got to the lowest point in the tunnel, running literally underneath the river, some thoughts bubbled up.
You feel bad, they seemed to say.
Why?
You feel pressured and pinched for time.
Yeah...
And that person at work has vibes you don't understand and it is affecting you. Something's not right. You are trying to pretend it's fine. You are denying your true feelings just to "get by," so it's creating a friction. You are not satisfied with where you are in your life situation right now. OWN THAT.
Yeah, but what can I do...I mean, I guess that is bugging me.
Be aware of it. TAKE OWNERSHIP OF THESE FEELINGS ABOUT IT. STOP TURNING AWAY. RUN INTO IT.
All the while the greasy-dick-blonde-perm-Romeo-and-Juliet-lyrical-cheese-fest classic rock about rock and roll plays on, and the sweaty, heavy drumbeats are sapping my will to live. The music sounded heavy, slow and tedious, much like the feelings I was experiencing in my chest. Okay, I thought, I'll own this. Fuck it. I am going to be aware of these feelings, deal with that which I can, let go of what I can't, and keep running on through, and directly into these feelings.
After I emerged from the tunnel, found my stride, and was almost home, Echo and the Bunnymen's "The Cutter" came on, and was just like a musical gust of wind at my back--like a sign I had worked though something, at least in part.
Just before this song had come on, I had found my stride--tiny brisk steps, but running at a decent clip. This music helped. This was more like me. Having trudged through the river of bad feelings and impressions ignored, delving into them underground in the subconscious beneath the bustling current of the river of everyday life, the pipes had now been cleaned. Fuck yeah. Now I'm running.
So...the moral? Don't eat cookies and milk just before a run? And try to pay attention to your feelings. I also remembered I left a bunch of books I needed at a school I don't wanna go back to again this week. Fuck. Oh well. Can't be helped. Go get books maybe tomorrow. Or Wednesday. Probably only take 20 - 40 minutes anyway.
Running is good like that. It helps you order your thoughts, and things you had suppressed, or forgotten about, tend to pop back up into the spotlight of attention as all the other thoughts are sorted and filed, too, in their own time.
Tonight's Run:
Distance: 5 miles
Theme Song(s): "For What It's Worth" - Buffalo Springfield
"The Cutter" - Echo and the Bunnymen
Playlist so far:
"Under the Pressure" - The War on Drugs
"Somewhere" - Soundgarden
"Owner of a Lonely Heart" - Yes
"Rose Garden" - Lynn Anderson
"Napalm Love" - Air
"Lips Like Sugar" - Echo and the Bunnymen
"Truth Hits Everybody" - The Police
"U Can't Touch This" - MC Hammer
"Tap Out" - The Strokes
"When Day is Done" - Django Reinhardt
"Sunrise, Sunset" - Bright Eyes
"(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" - Devo
"Take No Prisoners" - Megadeth
"For Whom the Bell Tolls" - Metallica
"Air Cal" - Com Truise
"Surfing On a Rocket" - Air
"Andy's Chest" - Lou Reed
"Only Shallow" - My Bloody Valentine
"Love Love Love" - The Mountain Goats
"まいご" - Joe Hisaishi / 井上あずみ
"Easier Said Than Done" - MxPx
"Just Don't Give a F**k" - Eminem
"It's up to You" - The Specials
"Searching" - Quarion
"Searching With My Good Eye Closed" - Soundgarden
"Looking for Love" - The Cars
"I'm so Free" - Lou Reed
"Don't Pass Me By" - The Beatles
"Don't Cry Wolf" - The Damned
"Don't Swallow the Cap" - The National
"Sound of e" (Murphy's New Club Mix) - Desperate Deejays
"For What It's Worth" - Buffalo Springfield
"The Cutter" - Echo and the Bunnymen
~KafkA
(Thanks for stopping by. If you missed the last installment of MARATHON BLOG, number 21, you can find it HERE. If you want to know why I am keeping this blog, and the inspiration for starting such a record on the blockchain, you can find the first MARATHON BLOG post HERE.)
Graham Smith is a Voluntaryist activist, creator, and peaceful parent residing in Niigata City, Japan. Graham runs the "Voluntary Japan" online initiative with a presence here on Steem, as well as Facebook and Twitter. (Hit me up so I can stop talking about myself in the third person!)
