Valentine's Day. I didn't even know VDay is coming until my husband mentioned it. My husband and I rarely celebrate Vday as we see it no point in celebrating something we actually do every day. And it falls on a weekday which makes it harder to plan something elaborate. But this is me, a married woman speaking. A younger, single me would probably say something different. This is me and my boyfriend @voltranrex , a photo of us taken a very long time ago, 19 years ago to be exact. The boyfriend is my husband now. This photo was taken during a VDay, if I am not mistaken. We were so young and so in love!
Or was it really LOVE?
To me, the feeling of falling in love feels like falling off a cliff. Like I am on the edge and attempting something dangerous and I am giddy with excitement.
Dr. Elaine Hatfield, professor of psychology at the University of Hawaii defines "passionate love" as...
A state of intense absorption in another. Sometimes lovers are those who long for their partners and for complete fulfilment. Somestimes lover are those who are ecstatic at finally having attained their partner's love and, momentarily, complete fulfilment. A state of intense psychological arousal.
A state of intense psychological arousal. I like that because that's exactly what it feels like. You are in constant euphoria and all you do is thinking of the object of your desire 24/7, smiling stupidly non-stop. You feel confident like you can conquer anything in this world as long as you have that person by your side. You feel complete.
"Love" is blind, indeed
Dr. Helen Fisher, an anthropology professor at Rutgers University conducted a survey and the results showed that...
65% of men and 55% of the women asserted that their lover "has some faults but they don't really bother me". And 64% of men and 61% of women agreed with the statement, "I love everything about my boyfriend/girlfriend."
"I love EVERYTHING about him/her including his/her buck teeth, BO, irresponsibility, abusive ways, addiction and so on and so forth.
Bad news, it is only temporary!
You may feel like you can be in love forever but unfortunately this infatuation stage is only temporary. Research shows that "falling in love" only lasts at most for 3 years and then the feeling disappears. I think this is when some people started to feel "out of love". Or they feel like their partner can't excite them anymore and they are not suitable for each other. So in most cases they break up and search for another "that right person" because they long to feel that initial excitement of falling in love.
Folks, that is not love.
Real love takes commitment and it requires a lot of effort to make it work.
I remember the time when my husband and I were a couple of years into our marriage. It was hard. The person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, is no longer that "ideal person". This guy has to many bad habits and flaws that I am not happy with. The love is no longer blind and has developing sight LOL. What a naive and selfish attitude! Little did I know that true love requires a lot of conscious effort and sacrifices in order to sustain it, or else it will slowly die.
My husband and I have known each other for almost 20 years. We have been married for 12 years and we have 2 beautiful children. Our marriage has been through a lot of challenging times but we persevered on by dealing with whatever issues we faced. It takes a lot of humility on both sides to admit our mistakes and apologized. We make it a rule to not keep secret from each other. We don't make it a habit to check each other's personal things but I really appreciate my husband for always telling me if someone of the opposite sex texted him personally (usually friends asking for favor), and I do the same too. We are not jealous of each other friendship with other people but we think it's good to be transparent about anything because we don't want misunderstanding to happen. We still have a long way to go and I hope our commitment to each other will last till the day we died.
The painting
Initially I wanted to paint a couple in love but decided not to do it and opted to paint a stencil art of a two lovebirds. I used pastels and white acrylic paint to create the background and black markers for the stencil.
Here are the progress photos...
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My previous posts:
Our Family Attended Team Malaysia MyJuniors First Event
How To Draw A Kawaii Character - Simple Tutorial For Kids
Please Don't Leave Me - The Lost Boys Painting #5
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