Females,

we are strong

we are brave

we are powerful

& don't you ever forget it!

Powerful Women - Empower Other Women

My parents got a divorce when I was in the 4th grade. I remember my moms new boyfriend coming to help us pack the rest of our boxes. As we drove away in his little tiny truck, I remember turning around and looking back at my dad stand there and watch us drive away...

My dad took this divorce really hard. I don't think he really knew what to do with his life after this happened. He tried, boy did he try to keep my title of daddy's little girl. He just, couldn't keep up. I ended up going with him every other weekend. At first he was great about this. So great that at one point he even kidnapped me. Well, legally it was kidnapping. He didn't return me to my mom when he was legally supposed to. Scared the shit out of her but I was fine. I was young and had no clue what was going on. I do remember he took me to his friends house and was arguing on the phone with my mom. I don't remember much but I have this vivid mini clip of a memory, I was sitting down going through his friends VHS tapes and picking one out, not a care in the world...

Fast forward a few years, my dad got this young girlfriend. She was so fucking jealous of me. She didnt like it when he picked me up on his weekend because it took time away from her and her then three year old daughter, Taylor. So he stopped coming. By this point I'm in middle school. I remember every other weekend, I would stare out the window with my bags packed ready to go. Sometimes he showed up, sometimes he didn't. It got to the point that when he did show up, I had a sign written up and posted in the window.

The sign read-

I'M NOT COMING

and I didn't. After a few months of this, my daddy slowly started to come back. That wasn't the man he was, that wasn't the father he was. He started with picking me up for dinner one night a week. Eventually, he came back every other weekend. Still with the same girlfriend but had some sort of wake up call. He turned back into the man that turned me into daddy's little girl. Shortly after this change, fresh into the 9th grade of high school, he died from drinking and driving.

The man who helped break me

The man who drove us away from my dad, raised me from the 4th grade up until a year after I graduated high school. He was wonderful at first. When my dad wasn't there for me, he stepped up to make me laugh and smile. He was essentially like my dad. I would buy gifts that had the word 'dad' on it. I remember getting a box specially made for him. The front read, worlds greatest dad. That was until he became an alcoholic. At age 11, this "dad" attempted to molest me. After he had stepped up and made me think of him as a father for those younger years. I couldn't really wrap my mind around it. He didn't follow through for whatever reason that I don't care to know of but I am forever thankful for. That doesn't change what it mentally did to me. I couldn't bring myself to tell anyone.

My mom started to have a toxic relationship with him and it started to get worse. At age 13, I decided to tell my mother what he did because I knew she would leave him and the abuse would stop. A week later, that was when my dad died. Wait, I can't tell her now. She will literally kill him. I will then have zero parents left. This is not an exaggeration, she hated him. She would have killed him. I kept quiet and promised myself if he attempted it again, I would tell her. She stayed another 5+ years and he didn't try it again. Over 13 years later, after she had remarried, I finally told her.

A father figure, what exactly is that? I wouldn't be able to tell you exactly what it feels like to have a stable father figure. I will forever be a daddy's little girl but that's doesn't change what he did and how it affected me. As for the step dad, at age 11 he was never looked at as a father again. I don't feel like a particularly strong, brave and powerful female at this point in my life but I know that I am. I know that my past and the strong women around me, are the reason why I am strong today, even if I don't see it.

Let me tell you why females are strong, brave and powerful...

Its because they are fucking badass! Women are tough. I want to tell you about one of the strongest women I know and that is my mother.

My mom was never perfect, she made mistakes before I was born when she had my sisters, mistakes when I was younger and then some more when I was older. She is strong because she never ever gives up. My mom was actually molested by her biological father when she was younger. You know what she did? She forgave him. Not at first though, she disowned him for a very long time. He has never been and never will be invited to any family gathering of hers but when he used to pop in occasionally at gatherings that other family members would host, she was polite and made it through the meal.

After she left my dad, her relationship really was good with my stepdad...for a few years. She quickly became a single mother even while a man tagged along beside her. He got so lazy and never worked. When she left him after I graduated, I kid you not there was an outline from his entire body in the couch where he rested his ass 24/7.

pathetic

She worked multiple jobs so that she could do what she had to do and to pick up his slack. At the time she was a dental assistant, massage therapist and she cleaned houses. We didn't have much money but I never went without. Did I always get what I wanted? No. Did I always get what I needed? Hell yes, plus some. At one point my mother opened up our home to friends of theirs that needed to get back on their feet. Still remaining the only one working. One time, she let an entire family move in. A father, a mother and a few month old baby. My mother fed them, clothed them and tried to help them get ahead. They weren't working the entire time. It was still only her. My mother has made mistakes but she is truly a very strong, brave and powerful women.

the day that I walked my mother down the isle, she had me on her left and my sister on her right

I have so many powerful women in my life!

My best friend Melissa, oh man she is my rock. No pun intended there, her last name is Rock. I have known her my entire life and we are both the same age. Our mothers were best friends, 26 years later and that girl is still always by my side when I need her to be. Her parents also got a divorce. Her mom moved to Florida and she stayed with her dad. Speaking of her dad, that man will forever stay in my heart as a father. Not to take my dads place, no but still as a father without a doubt. He raised his two girls and son all alone, then he had me over their house quite often as well. Melissa and I were together all the time. She did move back and forth between her mothers and fathers but stayed at her dads more.

Funny story - back in our pre teen days, Melissa stole one of her older brothers cigarettes. She called my house and whispered on the answering machine, "Kim, next time you come over, I got us a cigarette to try." My mom heard the message before me, "Kim, are you smoking or have you tried it?" What was she talking about? No I hadn't tried it! Then she let me listen to that sneaky little voicemail!

11 years ago my mother, Melissa and myself stood around her father as he passed away of cancer on a hospital bed that was placed in his living room. That was the last time I seen Melissa...I still talk her all the time though. She has been through a lot as well. Right now, she is a single mother of two girls and pregnant with a boy. Let me tell you something, she is handling her shit. This girl got pregnant by a man who then got her sent to prison for something she did not do. She was meant to have her baby in prison until a month before her due date, all of her charges got dropped because she wasn't involved. She got out of prison and went to a Paul Mitchell school for cosmetology. That child's father ended up overdosing on drugs. Her second daughter and the son she is pregnant with now, are both by a man who physically abused her. She left him and now raises her children by herself and she is a damn good mother!

My best friend of 26 years

Why am I telling you all of this?

Because it's Team Spirit Week for @teamgirlpowa, duh. They are a group of people (not even all women) who want to scream to the world, WOMEN ARE STRONG TOO!! This is a group filled with brave and powerful women (and men but for the point of this particular post, I am saying women here) who are also prime examples of why women are strong and each and every one of them deserves to be mentioned. I encourage you to follow them and see up close and personal what I am talking about!

Here is a recent post from @teamgirlpowa that is a must see - Welcome to Team Girl Powa | Bringing Intersectional Feminism to the Blockchain

This is a preview of the post and what Team Girl Powa is here to do-

You must be wondering, what are we all about? It is pretty simple, we are here to empower women and other marginalized communities on the blockchain and in real life. That is what we are all about, Girl Powa!

Our community is very diverse and everyone has their own opinion, but the baseline for everyone without exception is the empowerment of women and other marginalized groups.

Thank you for reading a little bit about my life. Take some time to thank a woman in your life who is strong, brave and powerful!

Here's To Strong Women!