Question #10: Are you gaining or losing self-confidence as you get older?

A NEW YEAR (A.N.Y.), a new way question series:

On January first, I posted our first article in this series explaining a new way to approach New Year's resolutions. Each day we will explore a different question that challenges us to understand ourselves better. The format will be as follows: I will post the previous day's question with my answer followed by the next day's question for contemplation.

Here is my answer:

Title Match

Have you given any thought of what kind of person you want to be when you are older? Notice I didn’t say anything about status or your list of possessions; those things provide little comfort to you on your deathbed. This is about character and self-confidence as we age. I thought that the best way to illustrate this point is to share a story of two retired women only months apart in age as I’ve had the pleasure of meeting both. So let’s peek into this title match to gain a better understanding of whose character we would like to emulate in our golden years.

Wearing the blue shorts… Tornado!

Our first contestant, standing is somewhat the shape of a question mark, can barely walk some days because of her physical pain. The majority of her life she faced rejection and felt unloved at the hands of her family or in the bleak years of her marriage. Her secret weapon is her can-do attitude. She has a whirlwind of hobbies where she spends countless hours channeling her creativity. She has a motto towards her pain that pushes her through it: "I might as well get stuff done and do what I want because I’m going to hurt anyway". Last I heard, she was planning a trip where she insists on driving her recreational vehicle herself. As much as I admire her spunk and gumption, that was not what made her a contender in my mind.

Wearing the red shorts… Storm Cloud!

Our second contestant, winded and finding it difficult to walk, doesn’t feel the desire to her life to the fullest. She too has faced rejection and distance with her family and suffered misery in her first marriage. After that marriage ended, a storm started to brew in her heart and mind. This storm of self-defeating thoughts created such dark clouds and darkness that she slowly lost sight of her inner strength. With those inner supports eroded, all she could see was her inabilities and her deteriorating health. Her reasoning behind her not doing what she wanted lobbied between two forces: her lack of energy physically and when she did feel well, the lack of desire to do anything. If it wasn't one; it was the other. The essence of the powerful woman she once was but a fleeting memory.

So what was the difference between these two women? I can sum it up in one word and that is courage. The first woman had the courage to challenge her thinking and not let her emotional pain define her. It was only a few years ago that she decided to look within and entertain the idea that she could be accountable for her broken relationships. Not all the discoveries were easy to admit but through that admittance the healing started. For many years she identified herself by her thinking pattern and was unaware of how that thinking pattern affected others. With a repentant heart she made her apologies and things slowly started to change. She took a chance in believing that things could be different and they have.

The second woman has refused to look within and lives daily the definition of insanity; doing the same thing over and over again hoping for different results. Each day that goes by she loses more and more confidence within herself. This is manifested in her physical health as well for she barely leaves her house now.

So what kind of person do you want to be when you are older? Do you see yourself as getting more or less confident within yourself? My choice is to remain on the path of gaining confidence. What about you? It's never too late to become a contender.

Did this response resonate with you? I would love to hear your take on the question and how it impacted you. Please post your thoughts below.

Tomorrow's question: Do you learn from your mistakes?

Response posted tomorrow.

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