A NEW YEAR (A.N.Y.), a new way question series:
At the beginning of the year I posted our first article in this series explaining a new way to approach New Year's resolutions. Each day we will explore a different question that challenges us to understand ourselves better. The format will be as follows: I will post the previous day's question with my answer followed by the next day's question for contemplation.
Question #1: Do you often complain of feeling bad, if so why?
My Answer: At first glance I didn’t feel that this question held any merit for me. One of the things I have prided myself on was being a positive person because I rarely got sick and generally kept an even keel emotionally. I didn’t realize though how unrelatable and detrimental this self-proclaimed superhero status could be. In fact, one time when I was feeling scared about my financial situation, I shared it with my hubby and he stated how awesome it was to see that I was human! He didn’t mean any disrespect with that comment but it got me thinking about if I really was a positive person or was the truth that I didn’t share my feelings with others when I felt vulnerable?
In my past, I handled my emotional upheaval much differently for I couldn’t wait to share my misery with others. I would start by calling my most loyal friend and make the way down my sympathetic ear phone list. Each phone call would consist of the same litany of my impending victimhood but I wasn’t actually calling for help nor did I want to change my circumstances; I was only calling to tell my story over and over again. Eventually I got frustrated with the situations in my life and decided to make some changes. Those changes entailed taking control of my own life to create my happiness and I slowly pulled back from calling my friends for every little incident. Coincidently my friends were glad for the changes too because they were fed up with my calling only to complain.
Fast forward a few years and now I rarely open up to anyone during a time of emotional crisis. I found that if I just waited a little longer before contacting anyone that the situation usually righted itself. This way, when I did talk with my friends or hubby, I would have a positive story to tell and I would look good. Truth be told, there were times when I wanted to share my fears with my support group but what stopped me was the worry that I would look weak. My friends had commented on how I appeared as a more put-together person with all the inner healing work I had done because I didn’t seem as easily upset. It was true that I had worked on many areas in my life and that I didn’t react as much as before so it surprised me that I had this approach. Why did I feel the need to hide this side of myself when I truly was stronger?
This question about complaining brought about an unexpected revelation for me on my approach to the emotional times in my life and for that I am thankful. I am going to explore this fear of appearing weak for I’m sure it has reared its ugly head in other parts of my life.
Did this response resonate with you? I would love to hear your take on the question and how it impacted you. Please post your thoughts below.
Tomorrow's question:
Do you find fault with other people easily? Response posted tomorrow.
Who is the Common Guru? Here is our introductory article
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