Trauma, Loneliness and Writing Hard Stories: Asking for Help

In the last couple of days I've put up a handful of posts on engaging trauma in writing. This process can be deeply therapeutic. It can aid in release and recovery of root traumas granting us freedom we never thought possible from our histories. But it can be equally lonely.

Trauma is isolating. Whether it is accompanied by intentional shaming and silencing or it is a visitor to our minds that others cannot see, it sets us adrift on an island of our own. I have three tricks for fighting off loneliness. The first one I'll talk about here on Steemit is using the buddy system.

Think about it: Vocalization of trauma is so often denied that even when you haven't experienced explicit silencing, it is culturally implicit that you not complain, man up, deal with it, shake it off and so on. But this is wrong. Trauma thrives in the darkness. We need to shove it into the light in order to heal it. This is done first by accepting the trauma, then comes release.

Absolutely do tell it to the page. Then share it with a friend, either by sending along those pages or, if you've reached the point of articulation, talk about it.

Side note here: Sometimes writing is harder than speaking. Start where you feel safest.

What I like to recommend is that you find a buddy who is either writing on their own issues or who is happy to know you are, to read your work periodically and who will offer thoughtful, compassionate feedback to encourage you to feel safe to keep writing. Yep, that's a tall order. We don't all have friends who think before they speak. That's why I recommend a therapist in conjunction with an expressive writing practice.

Is a therapist really necessary? No. Not if you have a friend and/or other tools to keep yourself grounded and safe as you write into your pain.

Is a friend really necessary? No. Not if you check in with yourself about how your writing made you feel after you complete a session. However, a buddy is better than no buddy.

In short: Write. Write often. Write in sloppy, gushing bursts. And always check into with someone even if that someone is yourself.

Trauma, Loneliness and Writing Hard Stories: Asking for Help

Questions? I'm happy to help. Drop them in comments.

Recent Posts

Don't forget, best comment on this account or @nat5an each week gets 5SBD reward.