Another Errant Holiday Tree Wanders On Down The Sidewalk, No Doubt Out For A Roll And A Bit Of Fresh Air In The Early Spring Of The Year -"It's Now April, People"!
Ohhhh Noooooo...
Yes, more Christmas trees. I can just about hear all the folks out there in SteemitVille right about now... "Why is he SO enamored of these dag-blamed Christmas trees?"
Well, that's easy. The dumb things keep showing up. I've been writing about these wandering, post-holiday symbols of Peace, Joy and Buying Lots Of Stuff To Put Underneath -- for awhile now. The Post-Holiday Tree Toss-Part I & The Post-Holiday Tree Toss-Part II
And this one just showed up down the block very recently. A bit worse for wear, but utilizing my tried and true, tree-needle carboniferous dating system I've discussed post-previous, this forest representative no-doubt hails from this past-Season of Great Cheer.
What is the tree doing here on the sidewalk? I suppose, whatever it darn well wants.
The Possibilities Are Endless
Major minor questions keep spinning about in my mind right now, much like my fat little hamster 'Davey' on his squeaky, destination-less wheel thingy at 2:45AM every night during my youth.
Is this an art project by some Banksian-wannabe University student?
Is someone in the Government testing my observational skills, for some sort of top secret future project I'm "just perfect for", but am not yet fully able to comprehend or understand at this time and space of my life. And it's far too early to discuss with me, even in cursory form, the incredible complexity of this project until I am truly tested and ready?
Are these tree-shaped things actually some sort of ingenious, well-disguised eavesdropping devices, tossed out of spaced-based saucers at irregular intervals during the night...by odd space creatures...intended to gather information along major travel routes and important waterways of the city? Vital information for when the inevitable invasion begins?
Or Better Than Worse
These trees I'm seeing ARE the small, space-based creatures themselves!! Oddly shaped little beings, resembling short, fat Noble fir trees. And, unfortunately, they are just not all that well-versed in our Holiday ways. Not realizing that if they DO show up down here, and happen to still be here muddling about in early December of any given year, they will probably get hacked off at the ankles with a bow saw, then placed in a small metal stand of sugar water for a month or so, bolted in place by three thumbscrews, left 'standing' about in one corner of the house, not able to move or wiggle, lest they give themselves away, with lights and tinsel spread all over their space-ly being parts, propped up in living room picture windows all over the country for everyone to admire from the sidewalk or road beyond. Maybe that IS their plan!! This whole idea WOULD be rather brilliantly un-assuming, that's for sure.
Wonder if anyone else has thought of this yet?
[Note to @therealpaul: "Can I borrow one of your famed Tinfoil Hats...ASAP?"]
I guess that's all I can come up with at the moment. This whole thing is keeping me up at night.
Well, I just had to put this out as an update. The absurdity of the Continuing Saga of the Post-Holiday Tree Toss tumbles on. PFI.
Stay Tuned...There's a good chance there will be MORE!!!
A Schteinn Report Circular
I'm calling this one "Off The Vine", and throwing in my credential, as this is sort of like reporting on possible future events, and this information is so very important, on some scale or another.
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