Shopping for healthy, all-natural, pesticide-free foods can become quite expensive in a rather short amount of time with only a few items added to your cart. Often times, those of us who are on government assistance to supplement our income to be able to eat are unable to maintain such a diet. In the United States the maximum allowed SNAP (food assistance) benefits for a single individual is $191. For three meals a day at thirty days a month on average this amount allows for this same individual to spend a grand total of $2.12 per meal. That's quite unsustainable for any healthy meal repeated over the course of the month, and only allows for the cheapest of items to be purchased; i.e. beans, rice, and noodles.
FUCK THAT.
So what do we do about this?
Hack the System
I'm not going to go into the morality of this issue, as that is up to you alone to decide.
I am simply here to show you how to live on a diet of fresh naturally grown, pesticide-free produce for any budget.
Deceiving the Paladin
Most major grocery stores do not pay much attention to you if you are a regular customer, or if you appear to blend in with the crowd, or have some other sort of disguise. I wear what many assume to be a priest's, or monk's, robe and so they assume that I am harmless, alas they have yet to come to know my true power (MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA). If you are to follow these simple suggestions, you'll be eating top quality produce (as far as top quality from a major grocer goes) at an inexpensive rate in no time!
Here you can see my purchase as it was bagged in the store before I went to check out. (I did not photograph anything in the store as not to draw attention to myself, so I do not have prices or what it would look like in store.) I have here bagged up a zucchini, two rainbow carrot batches, two baby bok choy, kale, one leek, and two green onions. I have bagged the carrots and the zucchini together, folding the carrot tops over to encompass the zucchini; the baby bok choy with the kale; and the green onions with the leek.
In my studies of psychology and the human mind, I have found that people tend to look at things very quickly without making a conscious effort to take note of what they are looking at. In this manner of bagging items together, I take advantage of the pitfalls of the human mind. By pairing items that are similar in shape and color I am able to quickly pass off one object as another.
Getting Past the Guardians
I never go directly to the check out lane after bagging my produce. Instead I will wander a few of the other isles for a brief period before heading over to the SELF CHECKOUT LANE.
There used to only be one, maybe two, employees who would watch the self checkout lane. Now as this idea has grown in popularity, the grocers I frequent have upwards of five employees watching the four checkout lanes. With ten piercing eyeballs staring you down as you enter into the arena, the odds can seem as though they're stacked against you bringing forth feelings of anxiety and wanting to back out. Remember the psychology bit? They don't suspect a thing. Though, if you do feel something is amiss, perhaps try another day. I have felt something was not right and returned later that same day or the following day and successfully culled my treasures.
When you ring up your items, make sure to look up the item by name. This is a must, for if you get caught (I've only been "caught" twice in the five years I've done this and they were both from putting in the wrong item.) you can simply say that you had entered and selected the wrong item by accident. Even if there were other items in the bag that were rang up in this same manner, I've never had them look into my bag.
If bagging multiple items together, or ringing an item up as something cheaper than the actual item (bulk foods work great this way; purchase regular peanuts when you've gotten a bag of cashews) then as soon as the register has rang up the item you will want to put the item into a bag, even if you only have one item. Once its in the bag, the employees have a much more difficult time seeing what you have and the mind cannot prove anything otherwise.
My grand total for all of these wonderful vegetables came out to be $3.56. As you can see on the receipt, the kale and bok choy was rang up as romaine lettuce. As I mentioned earlier, I do not have the original prices, but $3.50 is a minor fraction of the total cost of all these vegetables purchased as organic.
I am looking forward to chopping these all up and making a delicious healing soup! I will follow up tomorrow with the recipe for the soup that I make from all of this produce. Also be on the lookout later today for my recipe on how to make ghee, a staple in Indian cuisine that is very good for your health, and for my recipe on how to ferment your own ketchup!
LOVELAUGHTER&&XHAOS
PALPABLE POPE Ypyskypo Skwyrl, the Y'sas
High Priest, Temple of Appled Thought
Alchemist for Trades
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