Spoiler Alert. This is episode eight part two. Part one is located here and was released only hours ago. Let's continue, shall we? (*many jokes and references depend on previous episodes)
Last time on Haffanower: @nonameslefttouse the writer himself was rudely taken away from his dreamland. Haffanower has been inching closer and closer to the fridge while @nonameslefttouse the idiot himself attempted to tell the oh so serious story about the events that led up to discovering his other cat's name. The producers also gave this narrator his very own microphone on/off switch and I've been ordered to mention how the events that took place last time will never, ever happen again.
There! I said it! Are you assholes happy now? It's still on? Well how the hell does this thing work! On, off, on, off, on, off... did you buy this at the dollar store! "That's not the switch," what do you mean, "That's not the switch?"
Haffanower! I'm warning you!
Seriously pal, there's nothing of interest inside that refrigerator.
May I at least use the toilet?
I might piss on your rug and spoil it more than your instance from before. Is this the door? Answer me, hurry, it's nearing the floor! It's peeking, I'm leaking! Can't hold it no more!
Yes! Go, and don't forget to flush...
So anyway, PK, listen. I have more bad news.
I do as well and will be going first.
We were not successful in retrieving your soy sauce. I walked into the store. I looked everywhere. Haffanower was stumbling around, knocking things over, mumbling like a former rapper now on crack. The clerk kicked him out and started yelling at me as well. Something about "Low-life scum" and a few words which seemed like swears, but in a language I do not understand. I tried to reason with him. I said, "You look like a person who knows where I could find some soy sauce." You'd think someone in retail would know this stuff.He got really angry with me, I think maybe things aren't well at home. He started calling me a "racist" over and over with a few f-words, cunts and cock suckers mixed in. I was removed from the premises at broom point. I'm so sorry about all this.
Why would they be so angry about soy sauce? I'm the one who has a fucking reason to be angry about soy sauce! I should be screaming my head off! I'm not though, I'm going to stay... calm!
That FBI agent took my ticket to that soy sauce anyway. That's my bad news. That's why I pissed myself.
I didn't give anybody anything! That mother fucker was going to fuck me up the ass if I didn't hook him up. My ass is exit only, so I used this knowledge to my benefit. He exited, with the piece.
I pushed my piss out, with all of my might when I heard the fright of your sudden plight. The FB Eye blight, is he out of sight?
We must get it back! We're using you're car, TOWFA.
Towfah? He called me that too. Does it have some sort of profound meaning? Is it some sort of hidden message? Who are you people?
Let's go, I call shotgun!
Remember our last line? You said it could be mine!
We need you in the back, behind the tinted windows.
Well, I guess this is all worth it. I needed to go out and find soy sauce anyway, since you dumb fucks can't seem to get it right. Just let me lock things up, because that will certainly prevent the FBI from entering again.
Haffanower, be very careful, I have some important things on the back seat. Please just move it over gently before you sit.
Did I just hear something splitting?
Do you always have to speak like that?
Yeah? Like what?
This narrator is falling off his seat! Could someone please fix this chair? We're on? I know I pressed the button! Oh, hi there friends! It looks like the gentlemen have a few tough decisions to make. There are cops everywhere, Haffanower smells like weed, liquor and piss. PK is looking focused and wants to go! Nobody knows which way this agent of doom went.
Which way will the idiots in the car go and what possibly be in store for them when they get there?
