There are lot of reasons that can make a relationship fail, but over the years in counselling and self-experience one thing has always come out very common in failure of any relationship and that is “Taking a relationship for Granted” In any relationship whether it’s of husband-wife, siblings, parents, kids, friends, we believe that there is a certain kind of responsibility towards each other. Well to an extent this is true and to an extent it’s not
When anything is done with a feeling of Love, it always brings joy and happiness, at the same time when anything is done with a feeling of responsibility and with a feeling of have to do it, it becomes a burden. That does not mean you stop being responsible for people around you. Between feeling responsible and being responsible there is a very thin line. There will be instances when you want to do something for your loved ones but somewhere there are certain limitations, which can be anything like your own likes and dislikes and because of which even though you feel responsible you do not want to do it and the decision should be respected by the partner. Whereas on the other hand since you think it is your responsibility to do everything in the relation irrespective you like it or not like it, you go ahead and take it up, in this situation you do it but somewhere your heart and mind is not in agreement and there is a kind of bitterness that crawls up.
Most of us take relationships for granted. Children think parents are liable to do certain activities for them, husband will think my wife is supposed to perform these tasks for me daily, Parents think Children are meant to be doing certain tasks for them when they get old. It is good to expect and everyone does have these expectations, but there will be time when certain limitations will genuinely occur and the opposite person may not be able to do what he/she is meant to do, or out of personal choice the person may not want to do, in such a case the person should not feel pressurized and should be given the freedom to not perform that activity.
I personally feel that no relationship should be taken for granted. There is nothing like mandatory to be done in a relation, when one performs even a simple regular task or expected task for another person the person should be grateful.
Everything done in a relationship or between 2 people needs to be valued by both the parties, it can be as simple as a home maker cooking a meal every day. She may choose not to make it on few days and it’s perfectly fine, or a parent taking time-off from their children to spend some time of their own, it’s perfectly fine, it does not mean you become a bad parent.
Love and affection is the basic necessity of a human being, wherever you get if from you tend to incline there. People take relations for granted, after all we are each single individual coming with a purpose on earth and on death will leave alone from this place, so I always have a question, why do people not realize this and why do they get into authoritative mode and take each other for granted.
People should take each other as individual human beings and understand that though whatever relations they are in but still the individual has his or her identity of own and a certain level of thought. There are no things which are to be done mandatorily in a relation, but each and everything done is supposed to be understood and valued, and if I wish to choose not to do it, my opinion needs to be respected.
As I mentioned this is just one of the reason, but I do see that this is one big reason for relationship failures, expectations and then lack of communication.
With my personal experience, I was a very quiet child and never used to express my likes and dislikes, I always ended up giving into relations, people and many times the result was I used to end up personally being unhappy. It was very funny for me, I could always voice up for others but when it came to me, I used to shy off. As I progressed in life, became stronger and started voicing my likes & dislikes, initially there was lot of hit back but slowly gradually it settled and now people do understand that I have my own way of thinking and I can express it. Life has become much simpler for me and relations much smoother.
Thank you😇
Source of the Images----All the pictures are of my own self clicked, the images here are clicked at a place called Meherabad in Maharashtra, India. It is a divine shrine of the great master Meher Baba
A part of this blog content is taken from my own blog on Speaking Tree
https://www.speakingtree.in/blog/value-your-relations
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