Battling The Laundry Demons: The Tempest Papers, Letters from a Boa...

Once again, it's another letter from Tempest, the longsuffering cat living on a boat with her humans in the Bahamas.

Dear Paris,
Today was laundry day. I hate laundry day. All of those clothes hanging up on the lines around the boat, flapping in the breeze as though they're possessed by some otherworldly demon out to skin me alive and eat my soul.
I don't like it at all.
I'm going to my secret hiding place until the demon clothes are back where they belong.
Why do humans have to wear clothes anyway? It just seems like a lot of extra work to me.
Humans are idiots.
Scared Shitless (literally, the toilet box will stay empty today, I have no shit to spare)
Tempest
Queen of the boat pets, Overlord of the floating Castle of 11 Purple Monkeys.

P.S. I live with a bunch of assholes.
How is your week going?
P.P.S. Do animals get PMS? Because I think there are some cranky ass animals up in here. Seriously, that bitch Cinnamon
just gets pissy and yaps at all of us. As if it’s our fault that we
are stuck here on the boat. At least she gets to go to shore every
day to run around. I’m so done with her griping. If anyone has a
reason to bitch, it’s ME.
Anyway, I hope you’re having a better day. Oh wait, of course you
are. You don’t live with Cinnamon!