Most of us are too conscious to live our lives based on our societies expectations. We don't want to be called weird, and we don't want to become deviant. We tend to follow trends because people think that you are cool when you are trendy.
We want to follow the trends even if, sometimes, we are having difficulties following those trends, we are not happy to mimic our friends but because others think that it is cool people do it anyway. Because they want to be "in." They don't want to become an outcast to societies we're in. What they want is to be accepted in their society or group of friends that they have. We try to blend in when in fact we are created to be unique. We have different skin colors, languages, cultures, and personalities but we have common interest that brings us together.
Why are we so worried about what other people think? Why is it such a big deal to us? Why are we willing to live the life that we don't want just to impress people that we don't like? What an irony!
Some says they can't help it. Other says they don't want to be rejected from other people. Well everyone of us experience rejections in our lives not only once but many times. If certain people reject you then move on and fine another one. In no time you will find the right friends, right groups, right person, right carrier, and right place for you. Don't force others to like you to the extend that you are willing to live your life full of fakery.
Here is a video of Jack Ma from Goalcast that will teach us something about rejections (credits to MBD TUBE)
After watching the video now you know that experiencing rejection is okay. It is simple as that, though it is not easy. But hey! Beginning is always the hardest. Messy in the middle but very beautiful in the end. That's what I've learned from Robin Sharma.
Anyway, let's get to the point. How can we stop worrying about what other people think? Here are some of the mindsets I learned:
"Whatever you do, good or bad, people will always have something negative to say about you and that's life."
Just imagine how miserable your life can be if you let other people control your life just because you are too worried about what other people think about you. It's not a good idea letting other people dictate you on what you should do with your life. It's your life, you should own it. Yes, you can listen to good advice especially if it comes from your parents, but not with toxic people. When you start to accept this reality in our society, the lesser it gets you. Trust me, I've been there.
"I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure that the earth revolves around the sun and not you."
Sometimes, it's just us. We are just assuming that these people are talking behind our back but in reality, they don't care about your life at all. They are just too busy minding their own business and they don't have the luxury of time to stick their noses in your business. Let's face it, we, people almost always assume things in our daily lives. When we start reminding ourselves on the daily basis that we are not the sun that the earth revolves around, we will start to feel at peace.
"It's not your job to stop them from talking behind you, but it's your job not to let it affect you."
Every one of us has the right to say his or her opinion about something and that includes who they think you are. It's human nature. Each of us was given a brain to think and a mouth to talk. All of us have the freedom to think anything that we want to think. No other person can control your train of thoughts. Most of us are living in an autopilot and they can't control their train of thoughts. So we should respect their rights and we should own our rights too. We can't control their thoughts but we have the right not to accept it. It will only damage you the moment you accept their opinion towards you. Just remind yourself that their opinion is not your reality, period.
The more you know who you are, the lesser you care about what other people think.
We should start building our own image and start knowing who we really are so we don't get confused on who we are and who other people think we are. We are too focused on knowing the people around us that we fail to know who we really are. We should start spending more time with ourselves, listen to your inner self, do activities that help you discover who you are. Spending time with yourself is boring at first, especially if you are not used to it. But as you discover things about you, the happier you will get and you will now start enjoying going out with yourself. You no longer depend your happiness on someone else. If only I can hold your attention for so long, I will be more than happy to share how I dated myself.
Thou shall focus on yourself-development rather than worrying about what other people think.
The more focused you are on who you are becoming the lesser you give a d*mn on what other people think about you. Know your goals, make a plan and deadline, do everyday activities that will help you get closer to your goals and you will start to become the person who is too busy to mind other people's business and too busy to worry about what other people think about you. As you started to grow, you will learn the art of selective listening, reflecting on the feedbacks you hear, and you start improving the things you need to improve. Those people who talk behind your back, don't hate them. Make them a tool or an inspiration to become a better person. Start to apply the golden rule in your own life. "Do not do unto others what you don't want others to do unto you." If you don't want other people to talk behind your back, stop talking about other people behind their back. If you don't want other people to comment on your life, don't give comments about their lives. Yes, it's very simple and if you apply this, it can make so much improvement in your life.
"People would say bad things about you because it is the only way their insignificant self can feel better than you."
There are people out there who live a miserable life,. They can't handle it; they can't control it, so they start to control other people's lives. They want to make you miserable too because they feel good doing so. The problem is with them and not you, so be more compassionate and considerate of them.
Know that the lesser you care about their opinion, the happier you will get.
I don't think it is necessary to give elaborations on this part. You get what I mean, right?
At the end of the day, you will end up polished.
Sometimes, people are like sandpapers. They rub you as hard as they can. You will feel the pain, you will get wounded, but at the end of the day a used sandpaper will be trash and you will end up polished.
I really hope you get as many values as I did and I am hoping that sooner or later you will learn to turn obstacles into new opportunities. Please feel free to give your suggestions in the comment section below. Thanks!
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