My Creative Journey 13 + Watch Me Paint! Ep. 06

Every journey begins with a step...and continues with countless more. There is no end to the creative path. Only progress. To get better you have to do. Your skills, your mind, your art will not get better unless you try. And trying means you will fail a lot. But, if you keep at it, eventually you will triumph, break through, and be where you want to be. Here is another step on my journey.

Another day, another set of art :) I didn't do as much on the creation end yesterday as I wanted, but that was because I was beginning to handle to business end of everything. I mean, as an artist in the modern world you gotta make sure you got a website, social media, a clean good looking body of work easily visible, a marketing strategy set up, and the list goes on and on. No rest for the wicked, especially if you want to be wicked good at what you do and make money at it. I haven't been this on-fire for a very long time, and man is it a roller coaster.

I know I'm on the right path, but every day, hour to hour, even minute to minute sometimes, I wonder WTF am I doing.

And, honestly, it puts me in a spin and hurts my output. But, I have to deal with that because my situation isn't going to change just because I wish it would. It's going to take 10 times as much effort and work than it did when I was a photographer.

When those moments of doubt come up, I have to combat them with the full force of my being lest they win and send me back to my old habits which lead to failure. More and more evidence keeps piling up that I'm on the right path. That, as stupid as I feel a lot of the stuff I create is, it's real, and it's me, and people like it. Not everyone, but, that's ok. I'm only interested in those people who get it. They will be my core. And those people are slowly showing up. And, there's the little pushes in the right direction by the universe and people who see my potential. Votes from Steemit curators, from my friends here, from complete strangers who see and like my work, and the comments...people don't know how much their words matter to me right now...so let me reiterate, they mean a hell of a lot :)

Moral of the story...believe in yourself, and believe in the people who believe in you, even when your head says the complete opposite.

sidenote A good friend of mine from way back just hit me up with a Facebook message. A rather long one...telling me that I'm awesome at what I'm doing and that he things I'm on the right path. I'm honestly trying not to tear up. That is the power of words. Not stupid 'thoughts and prayers,' but actual words of encouragement. And I forgot to mention an email from an old client I got this morning as well...same gist, but with some great business ideas and a connect I should get a hold of.

But, enough about that.

Let's get to the ART! :)

This was the first of five for the day. I decided to just trust my flow and go with things. Let the story build in my head about the character that was taking shape in front of me. Sorry for the blurry picture...I really need to make sure it's in focus before I leave my house for the morning. This work was along the lines of my normal up close and personal emotion stuff. There's a lot of technique I need to work on in terms of perspective and proportion, also some tweaks in the eyes so I get the right emotion. I mean, I think I got the scared and angry down...now I need to figure happier faces...

As I was painting, I think this guys story changed 2 or 3 times as it grew. My music was blasting, and I have to admit I was a little high. Walking home from the coffee shop for lunch my neighbors had flagged me down for a little toke...and, having worked hella hard this week so far I said, 'yes.' Let's just say those guys know how to smoke...lol. It led to some interesting ideas and evolution, which you'll see as we get into the next piece...

This is where things got interesting in so many ways for me. First, I decided to try some advice an artist buddy had given me, work with a border. Why a border? For many reasons...two big ones...framing, and viewing. The ability to put something in a frame, and giving the viewer some negative space to get a better idea of what it is. Especially since a lot of my paintings thus far are kinda like those ink blot tests, hehe.

So, I painted a frame, and went from there. It was a crazy interesting experience.

The first, most difficult strokes of the painting were taken by the frame, and so I was left with a slighter more open mind with which to create. Where this came from...I have no idea. I think it was the unconscious bubbling to the surface to the incongruence I see in daily life with people. But, mainly with myself. The difference between knowing and doing. In our head we have the knowledge, in our body we have the ability, but how often do they meet? The apparent antlers and doe-like eyes...well, you can make your own interpretation about that.

This is most definitely an early idea. To me it was a sudden leap to trying to make a statement with my work. And, trust me, it was a big one. At least for me. Does it make sense? Meh, not sure. But, everything is a building block to something bigger. Looking at it now make me want to get so much better at what I do. I mean, to be able to stir the minds and hearts of people through my work? It's something I've been striving for for almost a decade. Instead of depending on other people to help me make it happen, now I only need myself :) Though, I'm sure there will be some pretty dope collaborations coming up in the future.

I definitely was on a constraint kick yesterday which might flow over to today. There's definitely a different energy to these pieces as compared to the unconstrained ones. The others seem to explode over the page with energy...these, more thoughtful, compressed.

So, WTF is this?

That's a good question. This is where my lens began to get a little blurry. And by that I mean, as I was doing the painting the perspective kept shifting. First I would see one painting, and than another. It wasn't a big shift, but it did have me blinking hard a couple times.

Do you see a face? A wanderer? A skeleton? This painting isn't really saying much, but it was a move forward when it comes to shadowing and playing with borders. My personal favorite viewing of this one is a wizard wandering with a cape/cowl over his face. Like a desert nomad, staff in hand. Let me know if you see that one! :) Another building block in the foundation.

Oh, and this will be Ep. 05 of Watch me Paint! :)

Music by: Monplaisir