This wasn't over yet. There were fumbled memories left dancing in my throat, seeking translation into words.
That dream I had, the one that was so vivid it shook me into a trance, pouring the emotions into the keyboard, searching for a way to let it out.
This is a continuance of "Ghost of You" if you want to read where this started, you can see it here!
In my dream, regret blossomed from my pores, taking on a life of its own and shaking me with a ferociousness I've never known from the very, innermost, core of my barely beating heart.
The pounding grief rained down on me like the thundering of 1000 horses, and pathetically, I slunk like putty out of the shadows, on my hands and knees begging with raging urgency for your attention as the shame threatened to wash me away.
Darting eyes. A fleeting, unaffected glance. Your piercing eyes shot me with disdain and turned against me, leaving me gasping for air.
One of those strong hands shot up, outstretched into the sickening thickness between us, pushing that space, willing me to disappear as she was suddenly beside you with her long, golden hair floating in our space.
As if vexed by some unnatural forces, my body betrayed my instinct to turn away. Wide-eyed, I watched whilst the jagged dagger twisted in my pounding heart as you put those strong hands on the small of her back, that knee weakening spot that you used to touch me... and coached her, along with you, into your world, far removed from mine.
Rebellious even in my night time, I followed you, desperately parading myself in your sight to get one dose of attention but you fought back with learned avoidance. We’d been here before.
In my distinctly vivid dream, it was the harrowing night before I would be gone. I'd be getting on an airplane and casting myself into the sky to depart to the other side of the world. This was but a moment's visit home, casting myself an actor in the life I once was so familiar with. Following footsteps, I had been beckoned to you like a fly to the flame, burning myself by letting the beauty overtake me, consume me, devour me.
A last whisper of gathered hope escaped my trembling lips as flooding tears washed away my skin in their wake “Please, I leave in the morning and I don’t know when I will ever see you again…”
The back of your head, the place where my hand used to rest. The space where your hair met your skin and my fingertips danced… turned on me and kept getting farther and farther away until but a small fragment of your cologne wandered its way to me with the passing breeze.
You were gone.
Stubborn, foolish, determined, I waited. I hoped. I prayed with every ounce of my being and in a flashing bolt of light the world spun so fast it changed the hands of time.
All of a sudden we were face to face, your hands in my hair, my hand on that familiar space on the back of your neck. My heart was frolicking with elation as fireworks exploded in my veins. Your eyes searing into the depths of my soul, the smell of your skin drugging my senses….
There was no time. Everything was still. Everything was one. Everything was this one moment.
Your head leaned into mine and a barricade fenced itself between the magnets that had been forever forged into our souls. Our flesh so close. Our energies sparking with electricity as we tried to weave into one other.
But we couldn’t touch. Scorned by the powers at hand, that space between us inflated, pushing me away, rejecting you from my reach.
You looked at me with the most indescribable eyes… all of the emotions in the universe converged into a splitting second, shattering my world into fragments of sharp moments, flying through space at the speed of light…
“That was the last time…”
Your mouth moved into those menacing words I could never bear to hear out loud and yet they stung me with the wrath of a force I stood no chance against.
Your voice was shrill and stern and as the sound waves traveled into my body, they splintered my bones and as they translated meaning in my mind, I crumbled like sand, into the floor.
You turned your back, you showed no more mercy and your door was suddenly staring me in the face, torturing my burning eyes that I couldn't bare to shut in case you returned... closing off the place where you just were.
I feel it inside of my bones like it were heavy liquid. I feel it in each heart beat sending the blood through my veins.
I touched you, you held me, we spiraled like stardust in that unforgettable moment.
It was real, it was magic. It was fleeting and fantastical and I just want to tell you Thank you for visiting me. I love you, I will always love you.
This two part poem/story was inspired by a dream I had about my first love. My heart was shattered beyond explanation whenever our paths divided and he still rents space there from time to time.
Here is Part 1 if you missed it.
Once in a while, my memories will stir and surface in the form of beautifully entangled words and images and submerge me into a trance- it's beautiful to have those visits.
Let these memories be preserved in the art above and let my love travel lands and seas to heal your hearts.
We all have scars, secrets and burns within us. Let the power of passion free our hearts!
Do what you love, say what you feel and don't be afraid to be vulnerable!
My heart's in charge here. I write about what I feel in the moment. What inspires me, what drives my passion. Here are some of my recent additions:
💁Want a FREE Steemit Assistant to Make Your Life MUCH Easier?
Your dream has come true- check it out!!
🍴Hungry? Check out these yummy plant based recipes!🍴
🍜Garden to Table: Coconut Curry!
🍝 Baked Lasagna
🍊Fruits to Make You Feel Your Best!
🍫Go Coco-NUTS for Homemade Creamy, Fudgy Chocolate Bars!
🍝 Mouth Watering, Creamy Cashew Alfredo Pasta Sauce!
Hope to see you again soon!
Sending you love!
XO,
