Closing out the year
I'm not sure why, but the end of the year always seems to be a difficult time for me. Perhaps it's because my birthday tends to get lost between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Or maybe I get too introspective about entering a new year in my life. Or maybe it's because growing up we didn't celebrate Christmas, so there was always anxiety about explaining that to strangers and bracing myself for the strange looks we'd get.
Since being married (and celebrating Christmas) the end of the year reminds me how far away from family we are. We've been overseas for most of our marriage. And have only been back to visit once.
This time, the end of 2017 snuck up on me even though I was looking forward to celebrating the twins' first Christmas. If you would have told me 5 months prior that we'd have our first Christmas with children, I would've laughed ... but life really can change overnight!
{If you want to catch up on how our lives changed when we suddenly became parents of twins, the beginning of our story can be found here: Intro, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, and Part 8}
Growing up
After our first successful family vacation, I think Matt and I started feeling a little less stressed about being parents. At their 6 month check-up, the doctor was pleased that both girls were nearing full-term weight even though they were preemies. The girls were sleeping better (cholic had started to subside). And they were beginning to take an interest in things around them.
The girls have "talked" to each other since they were little. We have some of their "conversations" recorded. They would comfort each other too. When one was crying ... the other would reach over and take her hand :)
A night on the town
A brave friend offered to stay overnight with the girls so Matt and I could get away for my 30th birthday. Matt made all the plans (I usually take care of the details, so the effort he put into making the reservations and deciding where we would eat, made me feel extra special). But as the day drew closer, I started to have second thoughts.
Would the twins be okay?
Would our friend be okay?
She'd asked for hard copy instructions, so I wrote out the girls' schedules, where to find things, and whatever helpful hints I could think of.
Part of me wanted to cancel everything and just stay with the girls but the reasonable side knew that Matt and I needed some time for our marriage and that I could trust our friend. It was probably the hardest struggle of being a mom that I'd felt so far.
In the end, I left the girls in good hands and met Matt at the hotel he'd reserved. We went out to a German restaurant for the best meal we'd had in months. It felt so strange not to check my watch and calculate when the next feeding should be or to listen for their cries. I missed the girls, but I was thankful for a few moments to be off mom-duty.
The next morning, when we arrived home, the girls were taking naps. Everything had gone well ... though our friend remarked that she could understand why I wasn't getting much sleep. LOL
Not only had my birthday exceeded my expectations, I realized how grateful I felt to be a mom. Yes, I was tired, but the look in the twins' eyes when they woke up and saw me was all worth it. The next few nights were more difficult than usual ... I think they were worried we wouldn't be there. But we made sure to spend extra time holding them and reassuring them.
Christmas
During the next few weeks of grocery shopping, I tucked away little surprises for our Christmas dinner. Matt's mom sent me his favorite mac-n-cheese recipe and I slowly gathered the ingredients. We'd decided that we'd spend the whole day relaxing as a family with plenty of food for snacking. Since my family didn't have any particular Christmas traditions, I wanted to incorporate Matt's favorites and make some of our own.
Christmas Day didn't feel much like Christmas outside (at least coming from Michigan), but we turned up the A/C, pulled out the blankets, and enjoyed pretending like it was cold. Since we're renting and aren't sure that this will be our long-term residence, we didn't go with a big tree. But Matt appreciated the easy setup of our little one ;)
Goodbye 2017
The year came to a close much differently than in the past but much better too. Matt and I had become parents. Our daughters were healthy and growing by the minute. And we were learning self-sacrifice on a whole new level.
If you're interested in reading the beginning of our story:
- Surprise, we have twins! The story behind why I fell off the face of Planet Steemit...
- Babies can be victims of human trafficking too
- Bringing home the twins
- They don't come with a manual | Taking care of twins
- Two love stories and understanding the twins' loss
- Feeding the twins, feeding ourselves, and working full-time
- Twins, not twins & going out with preemie babies
- Taking a family vacation with twins to Cameron Highlands
- Night intruder | Our vaction to Cameron Highlands continued
