Controversy warning: my blog is probably not a safe space. My intention is to explore this complicated subject with as much delicacy and tact as I can muster.
I don't understand why people are so touchy about this subject. The UK Government gives guidance on how to design forms that ask users about their gender or sex.
If someone conducting a survey asked me my sex, I would answer and move on with my life. If I were naked at the time, I'd likely be offended. But even if I were offended, would it matter? Would it matter so much that my government ought to get involved? Legislate? The same government that allows homeless people to die from hypothermia on its streets? The same government that commits atrocities in foreign countries, destroying millions of lives? This same government ought to care about my feelings in that moment?
This strikes me as an absurdity.
I really couldn't see what all the fuss was about, so I decided to find out about genders and pronouns. Educate myself. Try to understand.
Did you know that 'cross-dresser' (formerly known as 'transvestite') is a gender? I didn't. I just thought it was some bloke who liked to wear lipstick and his wife's knickers. Some get a sexual thrill from indulging in stereotypes. And that's fine by me. Live and let live.
Do coprophagy enthusiasts have their own gender classification too? They enjoy eating shit which could work on a psychological level as animalistic (not necessarily male/female). I wonder what their pronouns could be. Answer in the comments if you've got any good suggestions.
I'm not hating on anyone's personal preferences. But the extra-detailed classification is tiresome. As is the need to share too much information about things that are none of my business. If we're relative strangers and we happen to chat, please don't tell me what you like to rub your genitals against. I really don't want to know. It's irrelevant to me unless I'm trying to rub my genitals against you (don't worry; I hardly ever do that to strangers).
It's normal for humans to take shortcuts and categorise things to save time. On the whole, they're not trying to offend or marginalise or oppress anybody. On a semi-conscious level, I'm likely to think: that's a man with pink hair followed by so what! What this stranger thinks about himself is irrelevant to me.
Some genders...
Bi-gender. This is someone whose behaviour and identity fluctuates between traditional male/female roles (although I remember we were once told that gender rolls were fascist or something and that we should do our utmost to resist them). Are we getting rid of that idea now?
The following paragraph from it's pronounced metrosexual is worth mentioning:
cisgender /“siss-jendur”/ – adj. : a person whose gender identity and biological sex assigned at birth align (e.g., man and assigned male at birth). A simple way to think about it is if a person is not transgender, they are cisgender. The word cisgender can also be shortened to “cis.”
Cisgender describes a huge majority of the human population. We used to label these people as 'normal'. What's wrong with that? Abnormal is just a word that describes patterns that fall away from the norm. It's just a fact. If you exhibit signs that are different from the majority, you are abnormal in some way. This can be positive, negative or neutral, depending on your outlook. I don't understand why there has to be a new word for it.
Example: it's not normal to think you're a baby girl when you're actually an adult man. That's not an insult; it's a fact. It's also abnormal to think you're a unicorn or a god. It's not hate speech; it's just fact. The statement, in the above excerpt, tells us to think of normal people as 'not transgender'.
Surely, it makes more sense to describe the exception (rather than the rule) in terms of the norm, not the other way around. We all make snap judgements and overviews when encountering a person for the first time. It's how we differentiate self from other. Doesn't it make sense to categorise a stranger as they actually present themselves (he/she/not sure/don't care) rather than guess at the subjective opinions floating around in that stranger's head?
It's almost as if we're pandering to a group of spoiled toddlers who are role-playing. Yes, sunshine, you're a princess or Uh oh, here's Batman! That sort of thing. That toddler can transform into Fireman Sam or Pikachu without warning. Then what do we do? Are we expected to humour adult humans in the same way we do our little kids?
I had the awkward experience of mis-gendering someone's baby once. I referred to it as 'he' when it was, according to the mother, 'she'. Nobody consulted the baby. It could have been a non-gendered alien, judging by its veiny forehead. Who knows? And who cares?
I'm not saying 'normal' is better or more 'right' than the alternatives; I'm saying there's a much higher frequency in our population than the alternatives.
So, rather than describing my eye colour (green) as it actually is we are encouraged to describe it against other myriad possibilities.
What colour are your eyes?
They are viridiringular.
… I don't know what you mean.
Well they're not brown, blue, gold, hazel, purple, orange, yellow or black or any of the other eye colours; they're viridiringular (new made-up word for 'green').
Why make up words when perfectly acceptable ones already exist?
And, by the way, I'm not saying it's superior to be normal and inferior to be transgender. People are people regardless of how they want to (or not) use their genitals. But who gives a shit about your sexuality or endless navel gazing? I don't care what you see when you look at your reflection in the mirror. I don't care what makes your dick throb. That's your business. Just as with selfies, nobody cares. Only you. So, there's no hierarchy here.
Before this went mainstream, major psychiatric associations classified these people with 'gender identity disorder', meaning they have some sort of mental condition. Why don't they want to be labelled 'mentally ill'? Are they saying they're superior to people with mental illness? I don't know. This was changed to 'gender dysphoria', presumably in response to pressure groups. They wanted to free themselves from the stigma of being 'mentally ill'. Nowadays, some prefer to keep the medically-charged label because they can use this to claim on their health insurance for gender reassignment surgeries and therapy.
It can be argued that 'homosexuality' was once considered a mental disorder and that we're just starting on the sliding scale of acceptance. Homosexuality, however, is demonstrated, with really high frequency, by many creatures across the animal kingdom and is not driven by the need to propagate.
Gender bending creatures such as the Marsh Harrier, clownfish, and colobus monkey, use gender bending to disguise themselves as the opposite sex to prevent attacks and/or simply get laid. It's all about ensuring their genes make it to the next generation. It's a survival strategy rather than the animal feeling the need to express itself in whatever way it wants. It manifests in response to environmental pressure. I don't pretend to know, for a minute, the motivations of humans who vary in their gender preferences. I also have no idea what motivates someone going through a psychotic episode.
It is argued that many trans people suffer serious mental illness and have a much higher suicide rate because of society's treatment of them. It's not clear whether surgery to alleviate feelings of gender dysphoria contributes to this high rate of suicide or whether suicidality is co-morbid with the ongoing mental disorder. There's a high rate of suicide in bipolar and schizophrenia patients who've had medical treatment too. Maybe my point here is that there is a mental disorder underpinning everything. Whether or not it's treatable is anyone's guess.
Pronouns
They/their (non-binary) vs his/her (traditional)
I love my language. I love that it evolves, but this is just ridiculous. Language and grammar are supposed to help, not hinder, communication. Take the following sentence:
Alex says they are non-binary.
Who is non-binary, according to Alex? Traditionally, we would leap to the conclusion that 'they' (in this context) is someone other than Alex. In non-binary speak this could also mean that Alex thinks him- or herself non-binary, but is allergic to the words him/her and demands the vast majority alter their grammar to pander to this slight discomfort 'they' (meaning Alex) is feeling. Are you confused yet?
Effect. Nobody knows what the hell is going on. Bad communication.
Honourable mention:
This person has sexual, romantic, physical, and/or spiritual attraction for members of all gender identities/expressions.
In my day, this was called 'desperate for a shag'.
I harbour no ill feelings towards any of the genders that are not well-represented by the general human population and I think you have as much right to a good life and equality as anybody else. You should be who you are.
Researching this subject confused me so much that I now identify as some sort of sweet pastry gender. The fillings vary from day to day as do my pronouns. I suppose this means I fall into the category of trans-inanimate-object. Instead of 'her' I prefer 'flake' and instead of 'she' I prefer 'shmu-shee' (nod to my soft centre).
My bad. Sorry, I was just hungry. I'm a 'she' again.
In closing, I want to say that you can call yourself whatever you want, just don't expect me to play along.
SMARTSTEEM
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