Steemit Story Competition @marxrab: Pie Eating Contest

The day of the local festival dawned bright and clear.

This was as expected, yet as Edna sat on her verandah sipping coffee, she felt relieved. It was her first year to be chosen to make the pies for the pumpkin pie eating contest, and she had feared rain. Since she heard the news six months ago, she had been working on a new recipe. She only perfected it last week, and now her kitchen table was laden with her creations. She was tired, but very satisfied with her work.

Next door, Joe Morgan wasn’t feeling quite so satisfied. He’d had a touch of heartburn last night. It worried him that this was happening quite often. He had been the undisputed champion for seven years now, and felt confident in his speed. He could still “open throat” with the best of them. But he was concerned that he might not be able to keep the pies down for the required five minutes after the contest ended.

Henry Fraser was pacing up and down his lawn. He had come second to Joe Morgan three years running now. When was it going to be his time? Joe has just turned 53, and the younger man felt that maybe he was in with a chance this year. His father had been champion for ten years, back in the day, and Henry was starting to feel embarrassed that he could only come second.

Fred Turner flicked through the pages of his notebook, even though he already knew every line. Not very many bets yet, but most people waited until the day. They liked to check how each contestant looked before making their final pick. No bets for the third contestant yet – Sally Grainger. That wasn’t a surprise. A woman had never won the competition. Given that she was new to town and also a New Zealander, that was three counts against her.

Sally was feeling serene. She finished her yoga session and sat in the kitchen drinking ginger tea. What nobody knew about Sally, even Fred, was that she had secret weapons. Her reflexes were very fast, and after years of meditation, her throat could relax fully. She was also a competition level body builder with a fast metabolism and a vast capacity for food. Her favourite restaurant in her home town of Wellington was The Bresolin. After training she would often eat there and the staff didn’t need to take her order, it was waiting for her. A double serve of steak tartare, a whole lamb shoulder, a large salad and two litres of Antipodes water.

Two hours later, the contest was about to start. The three competitors were lined up behind the table, loosening up. Edna’s pies were in front of them, covered with a large white cloth. They took their seats and Edna whipped off the cloth.

There was a stunned silence for a full twenty seconds. Joe was the first to speak. “What the…”

Edna swelled with pride. “I wanted to do something special for you this year. I’ve made you pies that won’t make you sick or be bad for you. These are gluten free, dairy free, sugar free, Paleo and vegan. They’re sweetened with stevia and the crust is made from almond and coconut.”

Joe’s face went red and his wife, Betty, feared he was about to pop a cork. He demanded the contest be cancelled, but the adjudicator refused. “There’s nothing in the rules about the pie ingredients, sorry, Joe.”

Joe took a deep breath, and forced himself to take his seat. He would not be beaten by a vegan pie, whatever that was! He started out with a hiss and a roar. His usual tactic was a speedy beginning, so that the other competitors felt beaten right from the start. But getting angry seemed to have upset his gut, and before he got halfway through, he was hit by an incredible shooting pain. For the first time ever, he had to withdraw.

Henry had also gotten off to a good start, despite the unusual circumstances. His digestion was excellent, and he felt that today he might have an edge over Joe, for the first time ever. But Joe’s cry of pain threw him off his stride, and he fumbled not one, but two pickups.

Sally’s years of yoga training and body building competitions enabled her to stay in the zone, despite the uproar around her. She kept up a steady, consistent pace, and Henry was defeated by just a few mouthfuls.

Fred was a happy man. Since nobody had backed Sally, he got to keep all the takings.

The head of the festival committee told Edna she was never to make the pies again, and she was devastated by the outcome of all her hard work. But she was slightly comforted when her new BFF, Sally, told her they were the best pumpkin pies she had ever eaten.

Sally didn’t feel it was necessary to tell Edna that she’d actually never eaten pumpkin pie before. In New Zealand, a pie eating competition would feature meat pies. Or if in was in Hokitika, it could be any kind of wild food and it was usually best not to look too closely. One time, she was pretty sure it was huhu grubs.

Fred and Sally started dating, and he was the one who told her that the only gym in town was about to close down. She was able to take over the lease and buy the equipment.

She timed the grand opening for the end of autumn, when people were just starting to wonder what they could do indoors all winter. The sign over the entrance read Welcome to the Flying Kiwi Wellness Emporium, and inside were signs leading to the gymnasium, the yoga studio, the crèche and Edna’s Whole Food café and store. The town had never had an emporium before, the previous gym had been only open to men and nobody even knew what whole foods might be. But Sally had caught the imagination of the townsfolk, so they stopped by anyway.

Edna had been lonely and bored since she retired from her job in the library, and she loved the challenge of creating new recipes for Sally’s clients. The day she asked Betty Morgan to come and be her assistant chef, as the café was so busy, was one of her proudest.

The day of the local festival dawned bright and clear, as it always did. The contestants in the inaugural Whole Food Pie Making contest anxiously checked their entries and wondered what the day would bring.

Thanks for reading

Photo from @marxrab’s original competition post.

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