My Creative Journey 14 + Watch Me Paint! Ep. 07

Every journey begins with a step...and continues with countless more. There is no end to the creative path. Only progress. To get better you have to do. Your skills, your mind, your art will not get better unless you try. And trying means you will fail a lot. But, if you keep at it, eventually you will triumph, break through, and be where you want to be. Here is another step on my journey.

Yesterday got pretty interesting. I have to say, it was probably the highest, and the lowest I've been in a very long time. There are a lot of pressures on me right now and I really need to find some ways to deal with that...but, not gonna get too deep into that. A word of advice to my fellow creatives out there, make sure you have a support structure of friends out there that are willing and wanting to talk to you at any time of the day about anything before you dig too deep into your mind for the creativity you need to bring your ideas to life. Last night the line, 'when you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back into you,' got a little too real for me. I know I'm not a creative genius or anything, but letting yourself get too deep into the creative process without a backstop...not a good idea, hehe.

But, on to the art stuff! :)

These two sketches were my warm up. I was planning to have a relaxing evening at the coffee shop. Do some sketches, talk to some people, do some research, more sketching, until I went home to paint. But, that's not how my evening panned out, hehe. Rarely do things pan out the way I expect them to.

I decided to take a page from old famous artists and use myself as a model.

A couple selfies and I had something to sketch. I had to laugh because this was exactly how I got started drawing all those months ago. Sketching selfies of myself, but with a giant chunk of graphite in a notebook that was too small for the mode. I recently looked back at my first sketches...massive gray lines, not much definition, blobs, shapes, exactly what you'd expect from a newbie. Check out a video I did of those waaaaaay back HERE. Hard work vs Talent. :)

About the time I finished the second sketch a buddy got a hold of me about chilling for the evening. I mean, Saturday is always a good time to go out. I told him I had to do some paintings before I headed over. Gotta feed the media beast, and gotta make sure to do what I need to do what I need to do every day. Eventually I'll take a break. Someday, lol. Right now the priority is art. Most of my friends get this.

I kinda jumped into the deep end in my head last night.

I've really been focusing on shaping and forming faces...if you couldn't tell, and am in the process of figuring out how to do that with the paint through my brush strokes. How do the lines of the skin pulled over a skull lay? How do you bring that out? How can you do that with a minimal number of lines? Do I want a minimal number of lines? Do I like everything heavy and bold as I usually do? Ack, all the pieces that need to go into this puzzle. If frustrating, but fun.

Where did the idea of this painting come from? Evolution of a motion... I started with a couple strokes, my base, and went to it from there. It's an interesting process, when I do these improv paintings. Like a story coming from out of nowhere. They don't necessarily need to be complex, just the bare skeleton is just fine, enough to give my brush some energy. I call this one 'The Boxer.'

Strobes flashing brightly behind him as he faces an opponent. Intently he stares. Is he scared, angry, neutral? I need to get better with my expression lines in the eyes, hehe. But, like I always say, every piece is a building block to the next. Which brings me to....

This is where I decided to jump outside the box. Not sure why I did it, but I did. Well, I sort of have an idea.

I was smoothing down the paper and the texture caught my attention. Something about it just screamed at me to be touched...yeah, sounds weird, but, I'm not the one that necessarily defines the creative beast that's inside me. So, I figured, why the fuck not. Let's finger-paint! That oft made fun of activity of children. I mean, how much closer to creating with my hands could I get? Considering in the future I plan to work in 3D with some form of material, it's not a bad idea to figure out how my hands create on a most basic level, with no tools.

Again, no plans, just wanting to practice molding faces.

And, yes, I seem to have an obsession with them. As to why...I'm still in the process of figuring out. Even when I was just a photographer portraits were always my thing of choice. So much life contained in such a small space. You can tell infinite stories about a good picture of someones face. And, in my faces I think you can see a reflection of me in many ways. Can you guess what I'm feeling? lol I don't think it takes much of a genius.

That's another thing that intrigues me.

If/when my work finally starts to take off, as I gain success, how will my work change? The unconscious shape so much of what we do. And, if suddenly my unconscious is happy and satisfied, what will my creations look like? I'm not scared of it, nor worried that suddenly I won't be able to create anymore. I know life and work is about evolution, but evolving to what? Let's just hope I get to that point.

This one I just let it all loose. You know how they say, 'let you fingers do the talking?' Well, that's what I did. This is also about the point my buddy asked for a rain check. Well, just after I finished this painting. Sometimes art will get in the way of life...that happens. The question is, are you okay with that? Sometimes you lead the beast in your head, sometimes it leads you. If it screams to create, you can't ignore it.

What do you see in this image? I know what I do...but that's for me to know and everyone to guess at...if they want to, lol.

I had a blast doing this one.

Running with the feelings. Creating with your own two hands is such a cool feeling. Like a direct translation of your thoughts into form. You want to do this with the painting, so your hands do that. You can't complain about a crappy brush stroke, because there are no brushes. You want to form a line or a shadow just-so? Then you do. I know you can get that good with a brush, and I'm sure that will eventually happen, but between brushes and hands, the feeling is really different. If you don't believe me, give it a try.

Will anyone, does anyone, will anyone ever give a shit about the stuff I'm doing? I don't know...and, that's kind of scary. Exciting too, as it's motivation to make my work so good that it can't be ignore, but, in this world where there is so much noise, will they be able to hear my yells? I worked hard with photography to be heard and got nothing, so will it work with my art? Only time will tell.

And, you're in luck. This is the one I did a video of! So, here's Ep.05 of Watch me Paint!
Yes, I need to shave that little patch in the back of my head. And, yes, I'll find a better angle for the next video :)

Music: Creutzfeldt Jakob's Experience