This is a re-introduce myself post for my fellow steemians to get to know me. I am re-introducing myself in response to a prompt from @eco-alex, the driver of the wonderful #ecoTrain publication and community.

I am really glad for this inspiration and the timing is coincidental for me as I am in the process of re-introducing myself to... myself! Over the past few years I have been pausing at and passing several crossroads in my life and along the way I made choices that lead me to where I am today.

My head is in a whirlwind from change, acceptance and letting go... all of which are taking place in new shapes and forms. All along the way I am regularly surprised that no matter how much I change, and through the great joy or pain I feel, I find myself there underneath it all - the me that I did not always accept, embrace, or respect. My good friend and soul.

Before getting any further I'd like to thank @eco-alex and the #ecoTrain passengers and community for accepting me on board as a passenger. I first learned about ecoTrain from @mountainjewel who was writing for this publication. When browsing around the posts I felt that the energy and intention of the folks of the ecoTrain were quite positive and noble. In @eco-alex's words:

The idea of the ecoTrain birthed with the founding principle of Service To Mankind and the world around us. ... Selfless service or Seva in Sanskrit (Punjabi: ਸੇਵਾ) is a service which is performed without any expectation of result or award for performing it.

If this community sounds interesting to you please read this post The @ecoTrain has arrived at discord, Join us - we want to discover you! and consider joining the ecoTrain discord channel!

Who is @sagescrub?

I joined steemit in December of 2017 (you are most welcome to read my introduce myself post: Hello From the Farm!). I learned of steemit shortly after researching blockchains and cryptocurrencies. I had known about bitcoin at a basic level for some but never really quite understood its significance.

Then I discovered Bitcoin wasn't the only cryptocurrency, there were many more altcoins... what the heck is going on? With every blockchain article I read and every cryptocurrency I learned about, I had more questions. Hours and hours reading and contemplating... not quite getting it and then one night I had an aha moment. You can read some of my musings on cryptocurrencies and how I relate them to the natural world:

Right about the same time I was pondering creating a new website to teach others what I am learning about #homesteading, #permaculture and farming. This was one idea of many homesteading income ideas that could be started immediately. Specifically there is a huge barrier of entry for folks coming from suburbia or the city to the rural life. Falling into that category myself I know very well that its a whole different world out there!

Luckily the internet makes it so easy to find quality information. But for people like me who learn by experience with hands on first and foremost, its a huge challenge to learn something out of context, or in a new context and out of an old context.

My experience over the last two+ years has consisted of volunteering and working for over a dozen farms and homesteads, 1 1/2 years of that was on the road living in the very home of the homesteaders I was helping, working side by side, conversing over meals and absorbing. I made friends and gained heroes. It turns out My Ultimate Homesteading Resource is Love, Gratitude and Honor.

This path has prepared me for the transition of starting my own homestead. So as I considered sharing this knowledge on a website I thought "why don't I start a proof of concept blog on steemit, if I like it after a month or two then that's a good sign"

Little did I know that I would find a warm welcome from the steemit #homesteading community. Little did I know that I would become so inspired by this community in my own projects and to continue sharing.

Funny enough I never considered myself much of a blogger. I've had several personal blogs in the past going back to the first heydays of the internet, including a vegetarian recipe and food blog. I became inspired by the beautiful souls in the steemit community at large to keep opening my heart and sharing my passions and to continue practicing Love as the way I express my freedom.

Before starting this homesteading journey I was a web designer by trade and I was burnt out of the rat race. I had had it! My body was screaming, my mind was unsatisfied and my spirit was crying. It was not all from my work but that became a point of contention for my unhappiness with the culture that surrounded me, relationships based around materialism and the incessant search for more.

For a long while as my complacency and dissatisfaction grew I was in denial about who I was becoming and where I was going.

Often I would define myself by comparing what I had with others. Many of my friends throughout my life had found at least one great passion in their life, or were completely content with not having a great passion. For many years I searched for my passion. I tried to create it. I was good at many things I tried, hobbies, jobs, creativity, structure. If I was interested I could excel... it was the way I was raised. Both my parents are incredibly successful at learning skills and talents and accomplishing any task, project or goal with detail, style and finesse.

Well after all those years of trying it turns out I finally found my passion in gardening. It just fell into my lap one day. While I was swimming around the riptides of the rat race I found peace, beauty, love, harmony, purpose, health and happiness in gardening.

My passion unfolded under my eyes as I planted veggies, trees, native plants and seeds in my first suburban garden and then continuing on in my second suburban garden.

Yet still I was in denial. My life outside of the garden was less than fulfilling.

Pain is an incredible emotion. I feel it every time I feel fear. My subconscious certainly wants to protect me from feeling the pain of facing my fears by providing comfort in my regular habits, healthy or unhealthy. I wrangled with my fear of the unknown for a long time before I took a leap and began volunteering for farms and homesteads. I learned that I must face my fears if I am to let go, and let go in order to face my fears.

They say we let go with every breath. But if we don't breathe out fully how can we let go? I am learning to breathe again. I used to think that if I breathe in love I can breath out pain, anguish, anger, resentment, hatred, fear, frustration. But now I think that both the light and the shadows are in every breath in and out as they are one and the same. Thank you to Susun Weed's teachings for opening my eyes to the spiral and the laws of the natural world. You eat me... and now I eat you.

My life is a journey in learning to let go. It is not easy but the work is rewarding. I am inspired by the love that I see around me.

One of the things that interested me in the crypto land are the discussions about freedoms. Freedom from the oligarchies and the banks. On steemit there is also passion for freedom. I see it in the eyes and words of people that want change in their world, their people. I also want that change in the world, in myself.

My own definition and path for freedom evolves over time, every day, every month, every year. There is one thing that stood out to me about a game I played once a while back called cash flow. The idea is that the winner gets the most money. But along the way you first have to escape the rat race. You build your income streams and get yourself out of the day job.

I was fascinated by that idea because I liked money but not having to work for it. Pretty ironic? I guess that was a clue that my work was not my passion. Anyway the idea stuck with me over time and as I ended up leaving a career driven pursuit for a life of discovery, learning and passion I realized that I had stepped out of the rat race. I was hooked and to this day I cringe at the idea of stepping one little toe back into that rat race. I'll put out a lot of energy, sweat, blood and tears before I go back. That is part of my contribution to the world I want to live in.

I am re-evaluating my definition of freedom each step of the way. And so I put out a call to steemit and to the lovely homesteading community to ask others to answer the question "What does freedom mean to me?". I was shocked with the responses, the love, the strength, courage and openness with which words and ideas were shared. And the #freedomchallenge became a regular occurrence, taking on a life of its own as wonderful people share their stories and ideas about freedom in their lives.

As my own definition of freedom transforms and the actions I take to live that freedom I will share them here on steemit. But more importantly is how steemit is helping me transform into a better person - evidence that the world is changing. There was a post I wanted to write titled "Why food should be free", borrowing observations from the natural world. And then I happened across @foodisfree, through the weekly Homesteading Newsletter by @kiaraantonoviche.

I went on to read Food is free around the world and it occurred to me that its not that food should be free. Food is free. Of course, attitude is everything. The language we use is what defines us.

This is a part of the dream or the world I am realizing. How it will play out I do not know, but I am letting go to trust in myself and more importantly trust in the unknown.

I am slowly filling with gratitude. The more I let go, the more gratitude I have.

Gratitude for steemit, for rediscovering myself, for consciousness, for those around me, for mother nature, for love.

The love in me is the same love in you.

Thank you @eco-alex and #ecoTrain :)