I renewed my search for legal services since my last post thanks to the advice of @lturner, @markwhittam, and @canadian-coconut and have gotten a little further but not by much.

I was able to get a free question at JustAnswer.com. I explained the situation to the lawyer and he said he doesn't see me losing my kids, and to cooperate.

I called judicare, an organization that provides lawyers at no cost. They said they couldn't help me.

I looked up lawyers with searches saying things like "free cps lawyers," and the searches found some numbers. Several of the numbers were no longer in service and the people I did get through to expected payment.

I searched for legal clinics, but found none

Let's face it, I can't even afford to get an application expediated at HSLDA yet, which is $40. I might be able to in a couple days, given my post doesn't get downvoted by a certain cranky cat. There's only one paragraph about him, but we'll see.

I called several local law firms and was able to get an appointment for a free consultation. The appointment was at 2pm yesterday. I didn't tell him I couldn't pay. Here's how it went:

I told him the situation and he asked many questions. He asked if we have a curriculum, how the children's diets are, if there's any drug use going on in the house, have they started any CHIPS proceedings (CHild In need of Protection Services), ect. I included the information about:

• What curriculum we use.
• Jared's depression and employment situation.
• What the children said when interviewed.
• What Jared was doing to warrant their visit.
• What the social worker said concerning future UAs and pill counts.
• The fact that we have a few beers at night.
• The children's diets.
• The fact that I've been logging everything I do concerning the care and education of my kids.
• How I recorded Chloe giving an explanation of what she meant when she said "back."
• The fact that we're only under investigation at this point.

Here was his answer in a nutshell: Cooperate with them, and they'll probably go away.

He said It's not worth hiring a lawyer at this point. Lawyers are expensive (this is coming from a $300/hour lawyer who had no idea I couldn't pay). It looks like I'm doing a good job as a parent and just give them the urinalysis, after a couple clean ones they will see that they don't really have much of a case. By logging everything and recording Chloe's explanation, I have proof to give the judge if they were to accuse me of something and they probably already know they won't win. Just roll with the punches right now, it looks like they are working with you. The UA person usually comes during the day, but sometimes they do come in the evening, and alcohol shows up in UAs, so stick to 2 beers a night. 3 or more, and they could start accusing you of being irresponsible. He's confident they will be satisfied to the point of dropping the investigation.

I've never been very adept at handling advice. I don't know if I'm too impressionable or what but advice from one person will get my head spinning in one direction, and counsel from another person will get my head spinning the other way. I really don't know what to think and this is a weakness of mine. I see the horrors of CPS here on Steemit. I know what they could do, but will it happen to us? I'm starting to doubt it by what the lawyer said. Meth is a big problem around here, people are losing their kids left and right because of it. Heroin is an issue too. I go out into the world and see disheveled parents with their disheveled children. Naughty children at the grocery store, being yelled at by mean parents. My kid's hair is fixed everyday. They always have something clean to wear. We never go out looking poor or disheveled as we really are.

Some of the largest problems I have with the kids though is bedtime. They go to bed too late and they sleep in too late. That and screen time. My son in particular wants to spend every spare moment on his tablet and acts like the world is coming to an end when he doesn't have it. My daughter is a drama queen, and has some behavioral problems, she'll scream like she's being boiled when she gets too upset and it always irritates the hell out of me, especially when the windows are open. People say kids are kids but I think mine are feral sometimes haha! Especially the older two believe it or not. They were the only ones that got vaccinated. I can't help but wonder if there is a link. Anyway I'm rambling...I guess my point is that every family has their problems. Some don't want to admit it, and they may be different than mine, but they're there.

Some of you have suggested I leave with the kids and hide out somewhere. There are a few problems with that:

• My husband would never go for it. He says we need to cooperate.
• I have half a tank of gas, and very little money
• We've been kind of hermits since Jared's been depressed and are not in contact with our church, old friends ect.

That is why I have named this post "Between A Rock and a Hard Place." Sorry if this is basically all I've been posting about, but it's all I can really think about right now.

A couple of lyrics in Pink Floyd's "Welcome to the Machine" came to mind a couple of times.

Where have you been?
It's alright, we know where you've been...

You didn't like school
You're nobody's fool
So welcome to the machine

This is where I'm at. Thanks for reading.

If you're just learning about this now and want to catch up, here are my other posts:
It's happening
Still Together
My Actions Concerning CPS
Police and Social Worker Coming Today
Better than Expected

Love, snowpea ❤

Image from Pixabay