3 Inspiring Reasons Why You Should Say "No!" More Often

When is the last time you said a straight up "NO" to something?

Were you saying "no" to an idea? A statement? An opportunity? An offer?

What was it that you were saying "no" to and why were you saying "no" to it?

Lately I've been pondering the concept of saying "no" and I've found that it is quite a fascinating and empowering idea to explore...

No Is A Powerful Word

I organize a community group in Austin called "Improv Connection" where we offer free improv classes to the community and teach the basic principles.

The #1 principle - that's literally at the heart of all the teachings - is the concept of saying "yes and...".

"Yes and..." is a statement that refers to the importance of acceptance in any improv scene.

(Side note: those arrows in the picture are pointing to the huge crowd of children that were watching us play improv during one of our classes lol)

Here's a quick example of why saying "Yes, and..." is important in improv...

When your scene partner suggests a certain reality such as:

"Wow, that's a big brown dog you have there..."

You can either accept that reality by agreeing that there most definitely is a big brown dog with you, or...

...you can say "no" and disaffirm that reality.

Doing the latter (saying no) almost always kills the scene and suddenly places an incredible burden on your scene partner.

Thus, in improv classes, I am constantly encouraging people to say yes more often.

Interestingly enough, today I am about to do the exact opposite...

Today, I'm going to encourage you to say "NO" more often.

And if I had to be honest... it feels a bit weird to do that.

BUT the more I have pondered the concept, the more I feel incredibly inspired to share WHY saying no is so important.

So without further ado, here are my three inspiring reasons why I believe it's important to say "NO", more often...

1. "No" Sets The Tone For The Life You Know You Deserve

Have you ever experienced a time when you were offered something that was just a bit less valuable or a bit less exciting than what you really wanted?

These types of scenarios pop up for me all the time and it's often a very difficult decision to make.

Would you agree?

When something is just slightly off, it can be hard to say no to that thing, can't it?

I've come to realize that these instances are defining moments in our lives.

I say that because these decisions define the value we have for ourselves.

Have you ever heard the quote:

You get the love you think you deserve...

This is exactly what I'm talking about.

You get the job, the living situation, the partner, the life that you think you deserve.

How?

By saying no to the things that do not resonate, and yes to the ones that truly do.

This is by no means an easy choice to make, especially when we are feeling a lot of the FOMO (fear of missing out) that often fuels any big opportunity.

But when we can say "no" to something that already feels big... we are subconsciously saying "yes" to something much bigger!

2. No Requires Courage: It's A Word That Requires Conviction

When you're in a room full of people that are all saying "yes" to an idea, how easy is it to be the only person in the room saying, "no"?

For most of us, this is not any easy thing to do.

Our nature as human beings is to agree with others.

It's how we survive!

We must at some point find a way to agree in order to move forward.

Thus, when everyone agrees, it's almost a subconscious tendency to go along with that decision even when you personally do not agree with it.

How often do we say yes to the things that we would, if it was life or death, honestly say no to?

I think it happens more often than we would choose to admit.

Saying no when it's not easy to do so, is a courageous act.

For instance, let's look at the example set by the whistleblower, Edward Snowden...

He's an individual that noticed unlawful acts occurring at the United State's National Intelligence Agency.

He chose to say "no!" to what he was observing.

And although the government, many US citizens, and parts of the world disagreed with his decision, he courageously and boldly said NO to it.

This, in turn, radically impacted the world.

And now, the world sees things just a bit differently.

Saying no is not only a decision, it can often be a revolutionary act.

3. No Is The Ultimate Decision

In the video below I state:

In order to have everything that you truly desire, you have to give up everything that is not that.

Saying no is the only way that we can truly embrace what we really want in our lives.

We live in a constant state of potential.

When we do not make a choice, that potential remains.

One of my favorite movies is "Mr. Nobody."

It's a fascinating story that demonstrates the concept of string theory.

In the movie, the main character states, "As long as you don't choose, everything remains possible."

We can live with full potential, as long as we never make a choice.

However, we cannot have anything until we make a choice!

This is the real conundrum...

The fact is, in order to get what you truly want in your life, you must be willing to let go of all of it that is not that.

That's the absolute trade off.

Want a better job?

Let go of the job you have.

You can't create space for a new reality, until you've let go of your current circumstances.

Do you think you deserve to receive more love in your relationship?

Then end the relationship that you have.

Simply put: you cannot get more of what you want by saying "yes" to the things that you do not want.

Whether you want to bleieve it or not, holding onto the things that you don't want is still a yes.

Saying "no" is the point where we literally make a decision or...

A "de-cision"...

"Cision" literally means "to cut off."

When we say "no" we are deciding to cut off a part of our reality that we no longer desire.

This in turn, automatically send outs a big "YES" to everything that we do desire.

You Need To Be Specific

In improv, you say "YES AND" to accept the reality you are creating and to also add more information to that reality.

When you're in an improv scene, the specifics of the base reality aren't important - you just need to have a base reality to operate from.

In life, we already have a base reality, right?

And thus, accepting the reality we desire becomes an incredibly important decision.

There's a reason why it's important to be as specific as possible when we're setting our goals.

This is simply because there's a lot of decisions to make along the way to achieving that goal.

If we've been very general about our direction, then we'll likely say yes to a lot of things that will deviate us from where we really need to go.

Being specific as to what we want and saying "no" to the things that do not match those desires is a sure proof way to get exactly what we want in life.

The truth is: we can have everything and anything we want.

The catch is: we need to give up everything and anything that is not that to get there.

Question: In your life, have you ever found great benefits in saying "no"? Do you have any interesting stories to share about a great "no!" that led to something even greater? I want to know! Share your stories in the comments below!

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