Is It Wasteful To Be A Work-At-Home Mom?

I read with interest one of @maverickfoo 's post - Housewives with Ivy-League Scholarships. In that post, Maverick talks about a woman he knows (he named her Jane), who forsake her good education and qualification to become a housewife. Upon hearing that, he admitted that he was judgmental and thought what she did was a waste.

I can see his point of view and I agree with him. It is a waste. But before you bash me for being insensitive and looking down on homemakers, please understand that that is not my intention. I am a "Jane" myself and I am a work-at-home-mom.

Being a "Jane"

However, I would be quick to admit that I am not 100% a "Jane". I didn't have a scholarship to an Ivy League university or anything like that. I was just a bright student who did quite well academically. I did get offered a scholarship but for some reason, I had to reject it. I managed to pursue my tertiary education at a local university with financial support from my parents and a student loan. Though I wasn't a top student, I was on the Dean's List several times and my CGPAs were always above 3.5.

After my graduation, I worked at several reputable organizations and my last job was the best because it offered the best perks. Then I got married and we wanted to have a family of our own. And that's when the problem came. I had a very stressful job and it affected my health a lot to the point that I couldn't conceive. We remained childless for the first 3 years of our marriage and after several medical tests, my husband and I had a serious talk (and prayed) and finally made a decision that I would quit my job to improve on my health and to be a homemaker.

The reactions

It was a very hard decision for both of us. However, we figured I could always find a part-time job anytime I wanted but we needed to start a family soon because my biological clock was ticking. Our family members accepted our decision with an open mind. My mom was probably disappointed but even if she did, she didn't show it. Some relatives weren't so kind though. Some openly criticized me saying I was just wasting my time and talent. Some said hurtful things behind my back. Our friends were generally cool about it and no one said negative things.

Reflections after being a "Jane" for the past 9 years

I acknowledged the hard work and sacrifices my parents did to put me through school and I respect and appreciate them so much. However, I admit that I have my regrets. Since I don't have a regular income, I can't afford to bless my mom with expensive gifts or take her on holiday abroad.

Even though we largely surviving on one-income, I often managed to land some part-time gigs to supplement our family income. I did all kinds of things like affiliate marketing, translation jobs, blogging, selling women accessories, publishing and selling my adult coloring books, selling my paintings, and of course, blogging on Steemit. I had several successes and failures, and I learned lots of things. And the best part? I managed to raise my children and experienced every single of their milestones while working part-time at home. And I honestly think, this is the best perk of being a full-time homemaker. It's totally priceless.

So, is it really wasted?

I can't talk for others and I only write this based on my personal experience. I admit that it is wasted - those years studying at the university, the good career I forsook. Well, at least on the surface level it may seem wasted. But when I think further I don't think it is totally wasted. Why? I don't think I could have landed all those part-time gigs if I don't have a university degree. Now, I am not looking down on others who don't have a degree, I am just saying this based on my own experiences. My education level actually helped me to secure jobs and became the stepping stones for me to understand new concepts and knowledge. So even though I didn't get to use my degree in a corporate setting, I still able to use it in an unconventional approach.

The time I spent with my children is very precious. I have the opportunities to impart my values to them first hand and if I could raise them to become individual with good characters, is the time spent with them wasted? Nope.

Again this is just my opinion based on what I experienced. Some people might not agree with me at all, and that's perfectly okay. Some people might say it's unfair that I waste my opportunities while there are so many less fortunate people who yearn to have what I had. I agree that it's unfair, but let me ask, is there ever fairness in this world? Good stuff happens to bad people. Bad stuff happens to good people. It's unfair, yes, but that is the brutal truth we all have to accept in this fallen world.

The portrait

This is a portrait of my two beautiful children. I sacrificed so many of my dreams just to have these two but I would not trade that experience with anything else in this world.

Here is the reference photo:

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