I consider myself a pretty zen person, relaxed, easy going and with a constant genuine smile on. A happy green fairy, some would say, but there are some disturbances in the force as Jedi would state. Steemit is an amazing platform and it brings me so much joy every day. It is such a shame that it is starting to give me headaches too. Those are not strong headaches but those tricky ones that are always there and you can't get rid of them, a nuisance that is more annoying then it is painful. With annoyment comes irritability, and agitation follows right along up to the point where there is no more zen and steam is coming out of my ears.

I have heard some people talk about shitposts and how there is low-quality content on the trending pages. I wouldn't know, I don't go there. My problem is not the lack of quality posts, quite the opposite, it is too much of them that brings me pain. Things were so simple when I first joined Steemit. I knew just a few people and life was easy. Now I am surrounded by a lot of amazing people and it gets frustrating. All of them are writing top quality content and all of them deserve to be awarded. You are killing me here Steemit! You surround me with greatness and limit my ability to appreciate it. Not cool dude, not cool...

How amazing would it be to be a whale, to upvote everything I like and to show people that I care when I do. To be powerful enough to appreciate all those that deserve appreciation. Such sweet dreams.

So the problem is, there is no problem. This platform is filled with such great content that it is a sweet worry to decide what to read, upvote and comment on. Did I just write sweet? I meant excruciating...

I am a small fish in this pond, and as a small fish, I can't use that great slider that everyone is talking about. You know, the one that allows you to upvote with less than 100% of your vote? All my upvotes are full and people are, in general, advising that you should upvote people only 10 times a day so your VP drops till 80% and recharges again in a day. Only 10 upvotes? Are you freaking kidding me? I spend 10 on comments to my posts alone and I can not remember when my VP was at 100% the last time. Maybe on the first day, when I just got here. When someone leaves me a great comment I NEED to upvote it and comment back. That urge is stronger than my willpower. People need to know that I appreciate their feedback and want them to come back again, so I upvote and then upvote some more and VP is being a b*tch.

I am an active member of a lot of discord groups. ACTIVE. That means that I don't just promote my posts there, I talk to people and read their articles, go through the post promotion channels and enjoy all that is there. It is frustrating that I can not award all those that I want, and I want to award a lot of them. I end up compromising and upvoting only a few people from each group and at the end of the day when I find another great post I want to bang my head across the wall for being stuck with VP. I start to feel isolated and helpless.

Steemit is a small Earth-like world with all the well known human characteristics in it. Rules of decent human behaviour apply here as well as in real life. When you are nice to someone, they are nice to you too and when you ignore someone, there is a big chance you will also be ignored. Building relationships, with a limited ability to interact, is a difficult job.

People like to be liked. We are all social butterflies, whether we care to admit it or not, and we enjoy the attention. That is perfectly normal. It is normal for you to feel good when you get some recognition for your work. On steemit, that recognition comes in upvotes and comments. Your feelings of accomplishment when you see those numbers under your post are well justified. You spent time and energy in thinking, writing those words, finding the right images and styling your post. As with any other thing in your life, when you do the work, you appreciate the rewards that follow it. Sometimes, when you do not get the reward, it is not because you did not deserve it. Keep that in mind. Time will heal everything.

The good thing is, voting power will rise. It will fall again, but it will rise again too. Sure, it is annoying sometimes but there isn't a way that I can fix it. Some people will get my love today, and some tomorrow. Until I reach that threshold, where I can use the smaller percentage of my vote, I will just have to take some deep breathes now and then and relax. If I comment on your post and do not upvote it, this is the reason why. Sometimes I comment now and upvote later when I can. Those are the small fish troubles that I deal with on a regular basis. I love you all and hope that you don't mind when I don't visit your every post. There are so many wonderful people here and I try to spread my love around as much as I can.