Merry Ne'kid Confectionery Christmas -NQSFW-* ~ Original Story o...

Merry Merry Very Merry Christmas, And To All A GOOD NIGHT!!!

The week leading up to Christmas is always a busy, hectic, yet fun time for me. Running about like the proverbial chicken, finishing up everything that should have been done weeks before yesterday, and getting ready for the BIG day. And one of the best parts of this whole shebang, and something that actually qualifies as an early present received before the 25th of December, is the advent of Small Ginger People Left On The Front Porch day.

My good friend Don and his girlfriend create these wondrous masterpieces every year. Hand-crafted ginger bread cookies in the shape of little folk. They bake them for all their friends, and just about everyone in town knows about them, and looks forward to them with confectionery gusto, even if they don't get any.

And my bakery friends are very sneaky. They don't announce the arrival of the treat. This all happens at the least expected time. Head out the front door to get the mail or chase a cat, and there they are. Stacked up like cookie cord-wood on their special little plate out on the front stoop. Staring up at you with their beady little wrinkled, currant eyes through the red and green transparent cello wrapping, in all their anthropomorphic glory.

Everyone involved with this Holiday reception looks forward to this ALL year long, with reckless Christmas abandon and glee. They are that good. Real ginger, with all kinds of other secret Holiday ingredients that I am fully un-aware of, but certainly do appreciate once I bite their little heads off and continue on down to the last crumb, as soon as they hit the kitchen counter.

Actually, there is a more proper way to eat them…
The correct technique is to start eating at the arm or leg. I realize there is no manual out there for this sort of thing, but it all just makes sense, if you take the time to think about it. Always start small, and work up to the good stuff at the last. It's a lot like bowling. Why get early strikes, when you can WOW everyone at the end with a massive, pin-dropping comeback.

One thing you must remember though, is to make sure to turn them over, before you start to eat. Otherwise, they stare up at you in their sad, doomed, doughy way, as if to plead “Hey, don't eat me, THEY look a whole lot better over there.” Nah...just turn them over, and ruthlessly munch away.

And this year, as you can see, even MORE dough has been selectively added to them than in previous installments. Our cookie creators' decided to model realistic, anatomically correct male and female ginger people of the flour-based variety. With all the bits and parts pretty much where they are supposed to be. A tad lumpy and miss-shappen maybe, but still mostly present and accounted for.

PLEASE NOTE: I made sure I properly displayed them on this site, as to not cause un-toward difficulties at home or office, in deference to those uncomfortable with too much nakedness in their Holiday snack items.

And as such, you can't see ALL of them, so you'll just have to trust me...those little doobers, daybob's and the "other such" are all there. And for some reason, this seems to make them even harder to eat. Not only do they have eyes, and navels to mess about with your mind, but now, whenever I take a bite towards the privates, it causes a slight chudder in the Chestnuts. Oh well, nothing like a good taste-treat to help one get over difficult times. This year's batch didn't last long, that's for sure.

I enjoyed them so much, I've hatched a Grand Plan. Since I can't sit out on the porch all year and wait for next December's delivery, major thinking has come into play. I need to make MORE cookies. Lot's more cookies.

Hence, the last two on the plate were spared their usual fate, and have received their own special place in the house. A corner where it is quiet and warm with no distractions, nice suggestive music, and whatever else I can dream up that small cookie-people might need, in the realm of proper “mood creation."

If my timing is right, and I've correctly read the Reporte Bisquite' de Biologique on the Internet, I should have a whole bunch more Christmas cookies to munch on by Valentines day.