I'll Be Happy When...

I get that promotion.

I find my dream man/woman.

I lose 30 pounds.

I get through this thing I'm going through.

Are you guilty of this? The I'll be happy when's?

You have it stuck in your head that accomplishing that goal or desire will finally allow happiness. The moment that one thing happens is the magical instant where happiness enters my life, floods in like a tsunami wave to engulf every atom of your being.

Stop chasing happiness

My friend, I have to share this with you. I'm only telling you this because I care about you. It might sting a bit to hear, and I am sorry for that, but you need to know this: you will not be happy when.

Sure, when you find your dream partner you will feel that rush of endorphins and other feel good chemicals, and damn straight you will pump your fists when you lost that extra weight. But these are fleeting. The endorphin rush of a new romance lasts 6 months at best, the promotion will give you greater responsibilities with the greater paycheck so you will have to take slices out of other parts of your life, and you will think about your weight loss less and less after that initial celebration date.

Happiness is not something that naturally comes following the acquisition of something. Happiness is a state of mind. A state of being. We have been sold the idea of happiness for so long- drink coke and you'll smile; buy this bed and you'll awaken with a grin; eat at Joes and you'll experience bliss- we are conditioned to believe that happiness only comes after something.

If we keep going on this path we will spend our whole lives chasing something for a happiness trophy. But the trophy is never there at the end.

Happiness must be separated from our achievements

We need to catch ourselves when we have that little thought that we need something before we can be happy. When we are mindful of this little fubar we have been brainwashed with, we can train ourselves to let go of that misleading belief. When you catch yourself having an I'll be happy when, consciously let go of that "need." It will get easier with practice. The more we do this the more we will naturally feel the experience of being happy in the present moment, and the less our minds will automatically fixate on ideas in the future for fulfillment.

When you stop focusing on the idea of happiness you start to receive the thoughts and experiences that will actually make you happy.

Being able to let go of past mistakes and future worries is not easy but is the cornerstone to living a well rounded and satisfying life. Be here now. In the moment. Experience this moment. Savor it. Enjoy each moment for its true purpose and place in your reality.

Use the time you saved by stopping chasing happiness to start eliminating things that prevent happiness. If you are in a toxic relationship, have a poor diet or hate your job- do something about it! Purge the things that are standing in the way of a happy state of being.

We can be rid of the obsessively eternal search for happiness by quitting the neurotic chase and just allow it.