In yesterday's BLOG we discussed what main areas our lives give us meaning and what Moslow’s importance each of those were, ending with Self Actualization being the most important according to him. Today we will discuss why this is important to us and how we can incorporate it into our lives.
What is Self Actualization?
Let me try and paint the picture of what this means. We can begin by stating that it is our own journey into unknown territory. Venturing off into unknown lands encountering new allies, new opponents and new dangers. Eventually reaching a threshold or the belly of the beast and the most uncertain part of the new territory in our existence.
Then comes the ordeal. Facing an ultimate challenge against our deepest fears or newest understanding and usually it is conquered. Where is this taking us and why do we have to overcome such uncertain circumstances? It is a transformation that makes us into a more ‘divine’ being. You are reborn to something you were not before, something bigger and stronger than ever.
Taking on the enemy from within to defeat and return on the journey with love and peace. We are often dissatisfied because a lack of love and crossing this threshold from trying to pursue this in many ways that we do not realize are not the answer. Such as through relationships, career, or other outside sources from ourselves. What becomes apparent is what we have been doing wrong and that the love was right in front of them all along.
The Journey
Self Actualization is merely a training to develop the individual. We all must set out to find this in order to start our new lives with love, peace, and success. It is why it is a positive aspect to move on from our parents to start a new career, attend college, or start a family Through doing this, we learn and grow and adapt. This helps us to find the job we really want, get married to who is right for us, have children, and whatever your true life goals are. What we are essentially doing is moving forward toward our true purpose.
This is about growth, adventure, and challenge that keep us moving forward as individuals and as the human race. If we stay comfortable, we never succeed.
THE EVOLUTIONARY SHADOW
It is ingrained in us to go after the things we want in life, keep taking on new challenges and move out of our comfort zone to become something new. Why is it that so many of us eventually end up in dead-end jobs and feeling rather unfulfilled as a result This may come down to something called the evolutionary shadow.
Remember how evolution works? It is all about survival. The person who survives passes on their traits, which presumably are positive traits seeing as they helped them survive. Thus, all our DNA is made up of previous ‘winners’ and our psychology is optimized to help us live and thrive. Problem is though, evolution doesn’t care about us past 30…Maybe past 35.
Why? Because once you reach that age, you’ve already had your children most likely (or you’re in a situation where you are ready to). You’ve passed on your surviving genes and you’ve fulfilled your role. Therefore, it doesn’t matter what happens to you after.
This is seen reflected in the way we live our lives. Once we find a stable career and raise our kids, all the journey, discovery, newness and adventure is gone from our lives. We get into a rut and we start to move backward instead of forward.
It is why our lives can often feel like they lack meaning. It’s because they lack direction. Actualization is the climax of development. Actualization is growth, becoming the best that we can be. The quote often used to describe actualization is: “What a man can be, he must be.”
If you are not fulfilling your potential, or moving towards a better version of you… then you are moving backward.
Our Brain
The brain literally comes to life when it has a goal, when we learn new things and when we give it challenge. It becomes more youthful and plastic as it produces more dopamine, more norepinephrine and more BDNF (brain derived neurotrophic factor). Our memories improve, our attention improves and we become more energetic and positive.
As soon as you stop doing that though, you greatly increase your risk of starting to develop Alzheimer’s and other forms of cognitive decline. Your body is always changing and your only choice is whether it moves forward or backward.
HOW TO GIVE YOUR LIFE MEANING?
First you have to recognize that having a happy family and a good job is not enough. That is important for your happiness yes: but it does not provide growth and it does not provide challenge. In order to give life meaning, you need to become the hero again. You need to go on that journey and take on new challenges.
This can mean that you set out to make something amazing of your career, by becoming a rock musician, a top lawyer, or a business owner. Or it could mean that you pursue a meaningful hobby. Maybe you write a book, maybe you learn to program and build an app. Maybe you take up philosophy and try to answer some of life’s deepest questions
And it can be about family or charity too. You might decide to give back to your community or you might choose to have another child. Maybe your meaning comes from your faith and that’s something you want to explore. Maybe you want to see the world and save to travel.
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Whatever the case, it needs to be a journey and a challenge. It needs to force you to grow and give you an end destination, even if that destination seems impossible. You must be striving, learning, growing and you must have something that you are truly passionate about completing. Because when your life has direction, it has meaning.
You will feel most alive when you are tested, tired, challenged and beaten… but you choose to keep on going. You will feel most alive when you conquer mountains. Leave your comfortable armchair, head into the challenges of life and come out more powerful than ever before.
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