The laziness isn't really about the running itself. That felt great tonight. The laziness is about just getting my ass out there.

Winter's hard. It's dark almost all day here (no sun to speak of, really, and the sun goes down around 4:30), cold, and rainy. Inside the house there is Steemit, whisky, oranges, and heat. There's an all-around feeling of lethargy (which is actually quite nice, at times, in its own way) and hibernation. Lacing up the ol' running shoes to head out in a pair of shorts and light t-shirt is a distant-ass memory. Summer's gone, and my body's telling me to get fat so I can survive. My brain is telling me "You bastard! You're running 73 miles in April, you can't get fat now!" On top of all this I noticed that my mental state has been swinging back and forth through depression/mild existential crises again. In light of all that, I had to get my ass out there tonight.

Running is kind of like the metronome and balancer for my life now. If I don't run, and get all those random thoughts and feelings filed away, and work that frustration and anxiety/angst/static stagnation out of my body, something just. ain't. right.

Tonight's lesson from church (i.e. running with headphones and an ambient playlist on):

IF YOU WANT TO FIND THE ROAD YOU'RE LOOKING FOR, JUST STOP LOOKING AND FOLLOW YOUR HEART. YOU'LL END UP THERE LIKE THE RIVER ENDS UP AT THE OCEAN. NATURALLY.

Thanks for reading.

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PREVIOUS FUJI 5LAKES TRAINING BLOGS:

• A New Goal, A New Challenge, and A New Plan: THE FUJI 5LAKES ULTRAMARATHON!

• Fuji 5Lakes Training Blog! (mileage, music, thoughts and musings on running my first ultramarathon) 10/16/2017

• Runner's High: Love is a Choice, In This Reality.

• Fuji 5Lakes Training Blog - 10/25/2017 - Running with Joanna Newsom's "The Milk-Eyed Mender"

• F5LTB - 10/26/2017 - Shoegaze Church and Thoughts of Death on a Late Night Run

• F5LTB - 10.28.17 - The Beauty of Knees. Ambient Music. Other thoughts.

• Fuji 5Lakes Training Blog - 11.1.2017 - It's a Long Way to the Top, if You Wanna Rock 'n' Roll

• Fuji 5Lakes Training Blog - 11.5.2017 - The "Post-Poison 6 Mile" and Running as My Path to Serenity

• Fuji 5Lakes Training Blog - Flowers by the Bridge, 11.10.17

• Fuji 5Lakes Training Blog - 11.13.17- “May the Road Rise with You” (a much needed run with a super fun playlist!)

• Fuji 5Lakes Training Blog - 11.16.17 - SIGNED UP!

• Fuji 5Lakes Training Blog - 11.22.17 - Training in winter is tough / My own private marathon / Crypto ideas for the race

• Fuji 5Lakes Training Blog - 11.23.17 - Speaking in “Tongues” on a Runner’s High

• Fuji 5Lakes Ultramarathon Blog - 12.01.17 - Running in the Slush, Sleet, and Snow.

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~KafkA

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Graham Smith is a Voluntaryist activist, creator, and peaceful parent residing in Niigata City, Japan. Graham runs the "Voluntary Japan" online initiative with a presence here on Steem, as well as Facebook and Twitter. (Hit me up so I can stop talking about myself in the third person!)