When I started writing about the school shooting my son was in, I had to stop frequently. It was unbelievably difficult just to write about the event, even after some time had passed. It took two days for the actual writing of the article. He had called me while an active shooter was firing a pistol down the hall, so I was right there with him, even if it was on the phone.
I began writing it on Monday. Simply detailing the sequence of events on a safe, white computer page brought back the chilling fear. The utter helplessness. A great pressure tightened around my chest, and the words I was typing blurred often.
After some time I had to save my work and put it away. It was too great of a pain.
I reopened the document and worked on it some more Tuesday afternoon, then finished it that evening.
Strangely, it was less difficult to write on Tuesday.
It was still painful, however not nearly as bad as it was the day before.
Talking is healing. This is why therapists are a thing. But sometimes there are things you do not wish to share with a stranger, or even your own loved ones. Sometimes, the pain is too great and the vulnerability too raw to voice. And sometimes you just want to keep it secret from everyone until you get your emotional ducks in a row. This is why diaries are popular with teens- they need to get it out but cannot quite articulate it just yet. So they spill their feelings and dreams and hurts into their journal and it helps them better understand both the changes in their bodies and minds, as well as help them get a grasp on a world they are just figuring out they cannot control.
Writing is a free, effective, and simple remedy for both the body and the mind.
Research at the University of Auckland in New Zealand shows that expressing emotions in words helps heal emotional trauma, and remarkably speeds physical healing. The calmative effect of writing about the experience cut the healing time of injuries in half. Putting emotions on paper in words was also shown to reduce cortisol- our body's stress hormone.
It is human nature to attempt to make sense of events we experience. Whenever something unexpected happens, be it a physical trauma or emotional blow such as a sudden divorce, death of a loved one, or loss of employment, we are driven to make sense of it and understand why it happened. Human nature demands us to learn from our mistakes.
I tried to describe the shooting my son was involved in as accurately as possible. Looking at it after, I can see I probably could have added a stronger emotional element, however I am not at that point yet in my healing process. And it is most definitely a process. The fact that it was noticeably less difficult to write on the second day shows me just how profound writing is to my healing.
Write to heal. Because it is your right to heal.
❤
Images via Pixabay
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