One of the first questions we ask ourselves when we have a problem is: What should I do? And instantly, we reflect on the different possible alternatives to act. However, some problems are not resolved after that exercise. They are repeated, or they are simply postponed, but they are not solved. This is because maybe we should focus on being and not doing.
In principle, this may sound a little abstract, but in reality it is a very concrete idea. Some problems are not solved because the solution is not in taking any specific action to end them. What they demand is a change, be it in the focus, in the attitude or in some aspect of the personality. That is why we talk about being and not doing.
"People often say that they have not yet found themselves. But the self is not something you find, but something you create. "
-Thomas Szasz-
Doing becomes useless when the origin of a difficulty is in being. Think, for example, of someone who repeatedly tries to get his partner to pay more attention to him. He is frequently claimed and wants to be committed to respect. However, it does not solve what happens. Perhaps the appropriate thing is not to claim (do), but to review what is behind your need for frustrated attention (being).
BEING AND NOT DOING IN DIFFERENT CIRCUMSTANCES
The first idea to emphasize is that many times we can not define a problem or indicate what is really problematic about it. Many times what prevails is the desire to take it away, to get rid of it. We see it exclusively as a discomfort or a threat that must be faced as soon as possible.
This leads to many times we rush. The spring of the action, or of the reaction, is activated long before a reasonable analysis of the situation has been completed. Staying inactive for a while is not an option for many. That is why it is said that we have arrived at a time that is not of human beings, but of "human doing".
The most practical and material problems are usually solved by doing something. If the key leaks, it must be repaired. This does not require further reflection because it is a visible difficulty, which can be specified and against which there are protocols of action already established. In the face of more abstract problems, the situation is different. That's when it becomes important to be and not to do.
ATTITUDE AGAINST A PROBLEM IS A PERSONAL CREATION
Everyone is building a particular way of reacting to problems. While some see in them a challenge that arouses their interest, others assume it as a risk that must be quickly conjured up. This is the first aspect in which the being enters and does not play. It is in the being where a difficulty is given meaning, where an attitude towards it is forged.
Sometimes we gain a lot when we observe and evaluate our own attitude towards a problem. Would a more constructive look help us in solving it? Had that difficulty been presented before? What we have done to solve it has been effective or not? The first thing that occurs to us is to do the same thing that had already been ineffective in the past?
To be and not to do means to advance those reflections and to look for approaches in which a glance is included on what we feel and think, in front of what happens to us. It is very likely that the way to see the problem and the attitude we assume in front of it is what is determining its prolongation or its solution.
OBSERVE, ACCEPT AND UNDERSTAND
Being and not doing involves eliminating the automatisms in the face of difficulties. If they attack you, perhaps the reasonable thing is not to attack back. If you fail in any task, maybe it's best not to try to minimize or hide that error. If things do not end up working in the couple, it is likely that the exit is not in claiming the other.
It is good to try not to get carried away by our immediate beliefs. Also do not rush into trials and do not deny or turn away from problems. Instead, it might be a good idea to observe the difficulty with an open mind. Without prejudices or preconceptions that alter our perception. Then accept that we have a problem, without filling ourselves with anguish. And to guide us to understand what is really happening and how we contribute to this happening.
In other words, if we balance our being and connect with ourselves before acting, we are more likely to succeed on the path to follow. To be and not to do Rediscover before taking the next step. Look inside us and do not go outside. Work on what we are so that what we do goes up in level.