Relationship Tips #12 You Can Make Time!

When was the last time you do things together with your loved ones?

Or you have friends keep saying "I'm too busy!" or "I don't have time!"

In my opinion, you or your friends are making plain excuses. You make time for your loved ones is just as important as you make time for food. Your stomach growls when you need food. Your loved one screams when she needs your love.

You can make time to spend time with them.

Image from Pinterest.

1. Plan your week and month together

I always plan my week or month with my boyfriend. 1 or 2 weeks ahead, This week I asked him, "What's your plan for these coming 4 weekends?" He told me there are some change of plans, we need to move some dates. We sorted it out by matching the events to suitable dates for both of us.

Our monthly luxurious meal got shifted later but it wasn't cancelled because we planned ahead of time.

You literally need to plan time to do things together, because we're all busy people.

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Alright, you got planning started. Do you think planning for the right activities could cause conflict? Probably, yes.

2. Do something she likes (even if you dislike), be willing to do it and know what you are doing is an expression of love

With the little time you have for each other, the activity you do got to be fruitful for the relationship and has quality. But both of you has different activities in mind.

Should you do something she likes and you dislike?

The answer is YES.

For your loved one, doing something she loves and she knows you don't really like it could be one of the loudest voice of love. She knows you dislike plants but you're gardening with her because you love her.

Both of you must be WILLING to do it.

And WHY are you doing this? Because you want to express love by being together.

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3. You'll create memories that lasts

Shells that you collect from the seashore, pictures that you've taken together, souvenirs that you bought from vacations and DIY stuff that you did together sparks memories of those times when you see them.

The memories are as real as now. You can feel the happiness, the joy, the cold or heat as you re-imagine those memories. They are good source of filling up both of your love tank, especially when one of you goes outstation for a long time.

Document your love. My boyfriend and I have a project called "Document Our Love." We'll take pictures of memorable occasions (sometimes out of random) and collect trinkets during our trips. In our new home, we want to display those memories at a visible corner.

Re-live those memories in your mind

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4. The bad news is, this takes effort. The good news is, it's not as much as you think.

Making time in the middle of your busy schedule takes effort. You need to change your current lifestyle. You need to learn to say "No!" to unimportant stuff. You need to plan your life around spending time with your loved ones. But it's not as difficult as you think.

One activity a week is a very good starting point. You don't need to do 7 activities a week, that's overwhelming for most people.

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80% of my weeksdays are spent on working and my personal time. 20% are spent eating with my boyfriend + daily rituals. On the weekend, we'll do activities that we have planned for both of us. We'll visit Home fairs, or Volunteer, or Go Shopping. Sometimes we'll hang out with our friends. When we're done, we'll just relax and keep the day free.

So I have enough time for work, personal time and "our" time.

I'm telling you my story not to boast, but to express that it is POSSIBLE.

Great reflective questions to ask yourself,

When was the last time I spend time doing stuff with my partner or child?
What do I do daily that I think I should stop doing?
What are the things my partner or child wants to do with me?
What are the things we have done together? How did we feel?
Do I love him/her?

This Relationship Tips series include practical how's and what's of speaking your partner's love language. If your partner's love language is Physical Touch and Quality Time, I will share firsthand experiences of what I've done and its results :)

Relationship Tips is one of my initiative to help people improve their relationship based on a book I was reading The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman and my experiences.

Check out my series here:

I believe having a good relationship will carve a positive path in all areas of your life. This belief is backed up by an 80 year-old research by Harvard University.

@tifaong writes simple and positive practices and ideas that you can learn (or re-learn) and apply in your life immediately. She covers life lessons, self-help, relationships, positive thinking self-love. Her mission is to spread positivity so that we can live a happier life.

Check out her profile here to find out more 😁

She has committed to post daily, so rest assured that you will find something new everyday.

Relationship Tips #12 You Can Make Time!

1. Plan your week and month together

2. Do something she likes (even if you dislike), be willing to do it and know what you are doing is an expression of love

3. You'll create memories that lasts

4. The bad news is, this takes effort. The good news is, it's not as much as you think.

START SMALL

Getting Started with Love Language

Love Language #1 Words of Affirmation

Love Language #2 Quality Time