What is Matriarchy? What Do You Think a Matriarchal Society would L...

Being on the @ecotrain is amazing for many reasons and one of the top ones being that you get to really shake your mind, put a thinking cap on and give your two cents on an interesting question every week. We have had questions based on spirituality, influential and important events in our lives, child protective services and several other important and great topics that really make us think hard. This time too, we have a great question to answer which is a sequel of the previous question that focused on a patriarchal society.

The question this week is as mentioned in the title:

What is matriarchy? What do you think a matriarchal society would look like?

Here's my take on it.

Honestly, matriarchy was a very new concept to me when @clara-andriessen suggested this question as the question of the week (QOTW). The question before this one revolved around patriarchy and what is it rooted in so when i wrote on it, I thought that a matriarchal society would be the opposite of a patriarchal one. So at that time, I believed that a matriarchal society would be one where women would rule unlike the patriarchal society. I also thought that it would be as strong and stereotypical like a patriarchal one. Like men rule and dominate everyone else who seems powerless to them and because they believe they are worthy of dominating others in a patriarchal society, I thought that a matriarchal one would be somewhat similar too with the difference that women would be in power and would rule and govern everyone. So yes, at that time I thought that just like a patriarchal society is full of stereotypes and cliches that we badly wish to escape, a matriarchal one would be similar too.

Image Source

The definition I dug up said somewhat the same things too:

Matriarchy is a social system in which females (most notably in mammals) hold the primary power positions in roles of political leadership, moral authority, social privilege and control of property at the specific exclusion of males - at least to a large degree. Reference Source

However, I did not realize that I was not really focusing on the 'opposite' part clearly. I said I thought that a matriarchal society would be opposite to the patriarchal one, but when describing it, I only replaced the male gender with the female gender. If a matriarchal society is supposed to be opposite to a patriarchal society, it means it won't be saturated with stereotypes and with one gender having complete authority and governance over everyone else. Today, after reading the posts of fellow @ecotrain passengers, I realized that I was missing out on an important link related to a matriarchal society- the fact that it is the opposite of a patriarchal one. So being opposite means that it need not be enriched with stereotypes and all the things we do not appreciate in a patriarchal society.

Keeping this in mind, I began my research on matriarchal society and what it looks like. My findings were quite different from what I believed a matriarchal society would look like. I came across an article that discussed 6 modern matriarchal societies in today's world.

One of the places highlighted in the article is Minangkabau where boys leave their own home ruled by their mothers to stay in quarters designed for men only and women select the male chief of the clan. The chief must be a man always but is selected and removed by the women of the society only.

Another matriarchal society described in that article is one in Mosuo where the people practice the concept of walkign marriages and the father has limited role in the upbringing of his children and mostly, the identity of the father remains unknown as well. One more modern day matriarchal society highlighted in that piece exists in Bribri where women can inherit land only.

Then there is a matriarchal society in Garo that has its own rules and norms. One of their primary rules is described below.

Oftentimes, the youngest daughter's marriage is arranged for her. But for non-inheriting daughters, the process can be much more complex. In Garo tradition, the groom-to-be is expected to run away from a proposal of marriage, requiring the bride-to-be's family to "capture" him and return him to his potential bride's villiage. This back-and-forth is repeated until the bride either gives up, or the groom accepts her proposal (often after she has made many promises to serve and obey him). Once married, the husband lives in his wife’s house. Should it not work out, the union is dissolved without social stigma, as marriage is not a binding contract. Reference Source

To me, this concept seemed quite bizarre. I believe if a groom does not accept a proposal, he should be left alone and if the groom accepts the proposal on the condition that the to-be bride will serve and respect him at all times, then how come that society is a matriarchal one? One way or the other, the man is getting things done his way. Either the bride decides to give up on him or she makes him consent to the marriage on the promise that she will obey him and be a dutiful wife. I mean, this is so weird and completely contradicts the concept of matriarchy.

All these findings did not make much sense to me because in one way or another, the societies mentioned above forced men and women to behave a certain way in the society and conform to set rules which I believe is similar to a patriarchal society so then how is a matriarchal society different from a patriarchal society?

If a matriarchal society is following the same patterns as those observed in a patriarchal one with just the difference that the women are giving orders as opposed to the men, it is just the same and is basically a female version of a patriarchal society. According to what I feel, think and believe in and from the meaningful write-ups I have come across today, I think a matriarchal society for me is one where there is peace, love, compassion and respect for all. It is a place characterized by harmony and balance- one where you need not fight for your rights; a place that is home for everyone; a safe haven where everyone no matter what gender they have, what sexual orientation they have, what religion or ethnicity they have or to what race they belong feel safe, secure and at peace in it.

A matriarchal society for me is one based on the beautiful qualities that women are blessed with. Women are gentle, sensitive, compassionate, strong-willed, resilient and beautiful creatures and if a society is to be based on these qualities, it can only be just, fair, loving, respectful and kind for everyone. That is what a matriarchal society for me would look like and since a woman who feels the pain of others and is just and kind won't see anything unfair happen to anyone, I believe she would not overpower a just man too and would give him his due rights. So an ideal matriarchal society for me would be one where everyone would hold hand in hand and together decide how to build a good, loving society that lives and let lives.