Relationship Tips #15 How to give yourself as a present?

In my previous post I've wrote there is another dialect for Receiving Gifts, which is Gift of Self. And I don't mean this,

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What is Gift of Self?

Presence.

By being present during your partner's down time is one of the loudest love language to someone whose love language is Receiving Gifts.

Just staying beside your partner shows that you care about him, supporting him and loves him. Even if you say nothing, your presence means a lot to him. Offer your ears if he says something. Offer your opinions if he asks for advice. Just stay by his side.

Why Gift of Self is Powerful?

Humans are social creature, we can't survive by our own.

When we grieve for a dear loss, we cry. And often, we look for shoulders to cry on. We want to be understood and heard. We want to release our pent up stress and sadness. Especially to our dearest spouse.

I hope he is by my side when I am sad. I feel supported when he is around.

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From a child perspective, presence of a parent is extremely powerful. Why is it a child feels depressed when her parents are not free to attend any school events, whereas her classmates' parents are present?

She thinks her parents don't love her because they have no time for her Report Card Day

Presence is an expression of love

My Story

My boyfriend shared with me his painful past relationship.

As I listened, I looked at my boyfriend with empathy, sadness, feeling betrayed and objectiveness. He may looked fine and calm, but he exhibited behaviors that are not himself, like biting nails and shaking hands. Immediately, I felt his insecurity and uncertainty.

I gave him a tight hug instinctively.

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I used my body language to tell him, "I am here. Do not worry." I am using the Gift of Self to express my love. I make myself fully present + a hug to assure him that "We will be the happiest couple on Earth. You will experience happiness and love. I love you with my all. I am not her. I am me."

If you think you were not present during your partner's difficult times, ask yourself these questions,

When was the time he/she needs me the most?
Where was I when I was needed the most?
What can I do to make myself present when needed?

Share your answers in the comment below!

This Relationship Tips series include practical how's and what's of speaking your partner's love language. If your partner's love language is Physical Touch and Quality Time, I will share firsthand experiences of what I've done and its results :)

Relationship Tips is one of my initiative to help people improve their relationship based on a book I was reading The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman and my experiences.

Check out my series here:

I believe having a good relationship will carve a positive path in all areas of your life. This belief is backed up by an 80 year-old research by Harvard University.

@tifaong writes simple and positive practices and ideas that you can learn (or re-learn) and apply in your life immediately. She covers life lessons, self-help, relationships, positive thinking self-love. Her mission is to spread positivity so that we can live a happier life.

Check out her profile here to find out more 😁

She has committed to post daily, so rest assured that you will find something new everyday.

Relationship Tips #15 How to give yourself as a present?

What is Gift of Self?

Why Gift of Self is Powerful?

Presence is an expression of love

My Story

If you think you were not present during your partner's difficult times, ask yourself these questions,

Getting Started with Love Language

Love Language #1 Words of Affirmation

Love Language #2 Quality Time

Love Language #3 Receiving Gifts