Just Be You for You..

I came across the following image and the statement that follows it as a post on Facebook by the The Artidote which I absolutely loved and became inspired by so I thought to share it with all of you here and also make a post based on it.

artwork by ask__the__dust

Image Source

The status read:

"You don’t have to be MORE attractive. you don’t have to be attractive AT ALL. you don’t have to attract anyone or anything. you are not a magnet, damn it. you should be you for you and only you. and yes I am talking about you and you and you." —internetcrisis

The moment I read this status, I was blown away by it because it said something so meaningful, profound and important in a couple of sentences only. It addresses an important issue which many of us, both men and women, but particularly young girls and women experience a lot and are victimized by. From a very young age, we (I am a woman and since I have seen this happens to girls a lot so I am speaking from my experience) are told that we need to take care of ourselves and look attractive enough so people can praise us and then as we grow older, we are told that doing this is important so we find a nice groom for ourselves and then if we do manage to get married, we are told to keep taking care of ourselves and look beautiful so our husbands do not lose interest in us.

This happened to me a lot so yes I speak from experience. Luckily for me, my mother wasn't the one who inflicted that harm on me. I was told by others around me that I need to look good for people. My mother, however did emphasize a lot on self-care and looking good but she never told me to do it for others or guys, but always for my own self. That being said, there were all sorts of unhealthy influence in my life. When I grew older, I was constantly told by my elders mainly my aunt and grandmother that I need to lose weight fast so I can find a nice groom and get married. Again, my mother never encouraged me to burn my extra body fat because of this reason, but only to stay fit and healthy. So I love her for that.

I did lose weight and married a nice guy. I did not lose weight to attract a guy though. So I did get married and then had a baby with him. Post pregnancy, I was super fat lol and after a few months of having my son, the prying and constantly bickering aunties I was surrounded by kept reminding me that I need to lose weight again, wear good clothes and put some make up on daily so I looked good enough for my husband and kept his interest in me alive. All of that bickering was extremely and intensely sabotaging to my emotional well-being and self-esteem, and it did put me in a low spot emotionally for quite some time.

Luckily enough for me, I was able to bring myself back to sanity and came out of that quicksand of depression I was stuck in for a long time. I had to be really nice to myself and keep telling myself that I am good enough for my own self during that low phase to rebuild my self-esteem and feel good about myself. So when I read the aforementioned quote, I was like 'Man, it is speaking to me! This is what I went through and felt and I am not a magnet to draw people towards me. I need to be me and happy for myself.'

This is exactly my message to each one of you. You need to love yourself, be happy, take care of yourself and do anything you want for yourself first so you feel fulfilled, happy and good from within. And it is you who gets to decide if you want to be attractive enough for anybody else or not. If you do not wish to be even presentable enough for anybody else, that is OKAY and that does not make you a weird or a bad person. Just be you and once you start doing that, you'll feel great peace entering inside you. As I write this, I am thinking of my sister whom we forced to be a certain way for a long time but she wasn't happy doing that. Now that I am more self-aware and aware of different things and how they affect our minds, I feel so guilty for pushing her to dress up a certain way. I am sorry baby sister. I now make up to her by being supportive of her decisions and not forcing her to behave a certain way.

Have you ever been through a similar situation like mine or my sister's? What are your views on the topic? Do share them as your comments make my day.

Love and light,

Sharoon.

I am running a writing contest with 5SBD up for grabs for the winner so if any of you would like to participate in it, click on the following link:

Shary's Writing Prompt Contest #4 and Results of Contest #3

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