Marie:
I sweep and mop the floor, walk the dog, clean the kitchen, change the baby's diapers AND when you come home, you just sit and watch TV. Why are you not helping me?Mike:
Where is supper? Everytime I come home, there's no supper. And you make the bed only once a week. The baby's face is always so dirty. Why are you not doing your job?
From a third person point of view, Marie is doing a lot and yet Mike still complains Marie is not doing enough. Why is this happening?
Have you ever experienced or seen couples arguing about "Why you never help me!?!?!?!" I've realized this become increasingly common once you've moved in together.
Mike is probably following his father's footsteps. Traditionally, men work and relaxes at home and women stays at home and handle all the household chores. But this has wounded their relationship.
Both of them wanted love from each other's Acts of Service. Marie wanted Mike to help her with her house chores whilst Mike wanted Marie to cook supper, make the bed and clean the baby's face.
Is Marie not doing enough?
Do you think Marie is not doing enough? According to Dr. Gary Chapman in his book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, Marie is just not doing the most important acts of services from Mike's dialect.
Marie is just speaking the wrong dialect to Mike!
It's as simple as A.B.C.
To Mike, the most powerful acts of service is
- Make supper before he comes home
- Make the bed every day
- Clean the baby
To Marie, the most powerful acts of service is Mike help her out in any house chores.
Both Mike's and Marie's love language is Acts of Service but they speak different dialects.
But hey, if it's as simple as A.B.C., why Marie and Mike didn't realize this?? They need to do ONE simple activity below and they'll finally know it.
What's surprising to me is some people need you to do top 3 things for them and their love tank will overflow! And some is okay with anything as long as you help!
Figuring this out is the key.
Mike and Marie's story could be fictional but I'm sure it happens on couples right now. Here's how you can find out if your partner could be like Mike,
- Both of you write down top 5 things that you want the other one to do.
- Do those 5 things for 2 months.
- See the results.
Now that I've written this, I'd like to try this with my boyfriend too 😍😍
I'll let you know the results in my next relationship series 😉
What say you?
- What are your top 3 things that you would like your partner to do for you?
- What acts of service besides than household chores you can think of?
- What do you feel when your partner is helping you out?
Don't know your partner's love language? Request them to take the quiz here!
This Relationship Tips series include practical how's and what's of speaking your partner's love language. If your partner's love language is Physical Touch and Quality Time, I will share firsthand experiences of what I've done and its results :)
Relationship Tips is one of my initiative to help people improve their relationship based on a book I was reading The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman and my experiences.
Check out my series here:
Getting Started with Love Language
Relationship Tips #1: Know Your Partner's Love Language Here!
Relationship Tips #2: How to keep the love tank full, or most of the time full?
Relationship Tips #3: Is This "In Love" or "Real Love"?
Love Language #1 Words of Affirmation
Relationship Tips #4:How to Express Love with Words of Encouragement
Relationship Tips #5: How to Express Love with Words of Kindness
Relationship Tips #6: How to Express Love with Requests, not Demands
Relationship Tips #7: 7 Best Ways to Show Love With WORDS
Love Language #2 Quality Time
Relationship Tips #8 Do You have Time for Your Love?
Relationship Tips #9 How to Show Love by Giving Focussed Attention?
Relationship Tips #10 How to Show Love by Listening?
Relationship Tips #11 How to Reveal Yourself? (Yes, this is an act of love)
Relationship Tips #12 You Can Make Time!
Love Language #3 Receiving Gifts
Relationship Tips #13 Is her love language "Receiving Gifts" or she's just plainly materialistic?
Relationship Tips #14 Learn the Easiest Love Language and Most Common in All Ladies
Relationship Tips #15 How to give yourself as a present?
Relationship Tips #16 7 Best Ways to Show Love by Spending Quality Time and Giving Gifts
I believe having a good relationship will carve a positive path in all areas of your life. This belief is backed up by an 80 year-old research by Harvard University.
@tifaong writes simple and positive practices and ideas that you can learn (or re-learn) and apply in your life immediately. She covers life lessons, self-help, relationships, positive thinking self-love. Her mission is to spread positivity so that we can live a happier life.
Check out her profile here to find out more 😁
She has committed to post daily every 2 days, so rest assured that you will find something new. everyday
She can't post daily now because she has undertake few projects that will bring her closer to achieving her goals. But she will still be active and help the newbies whenever she has time.