I know touch is a strong communicator of love but I'm just not a toucher, and I paired up with my boyfriend whose primary love language is Physical Touch.

This is how I reacted at first when I first found out my boyfriend's primary love language is Physical Touch. Along the way, I've found out simple hacks that has helped me to master his love language, and I hope these will help you too.

He's very happy with my touches, so these tips are guaranteed 😎

The Power of Touch

Image Source

Since ancient times, physical touch has been a tool to communicate love. Hugs, kisses, holding hands, sexual intercourse and more.

Touches are extremely powerful to partners whose first love language is Physical Touch. A slap can cause a break-up and a hug can patch up a relationship in a blink of an eye (maaaaybe not in a blink).

Physical Touch can show hate and love.
Slapping your partner shouts hate, and hugging your partner shouts love.

Different Kinds of Touches

However, not all touches are equal. Some are pleasant, some are annoying. Each person's body and touch receptors are different, so we gotta find out.

Ask him "Which touch do you find pleasurable, and which is annoying or irritating?" If he can't answer, observe his reactions carefully and put them in your brain database.

Image Source

If you insist in touching places that he dislikes, you're simply telling him "I don't care how you feel. I just wanna touch you!" You don't want to communicate annoyance, do you?

Reminder: Never assume touches that brings pleasure to you will bring pleasure to him as well.

Explicit and Implicit Touch

There are 2 major types of touch, Explicit and Implicit.

Explicit

Demands your full attention such as body massage or sexual foreplay.

Implicit

Requires only a moment like touching his thigh in the car, hug him from behind when he's playing games, poke him on his belly as you pass by, snuggle to him when he's watching youtube.

It's important to have both explicit and implicit touches to spice things up 😉

It's really exciting to find out what kind touches he likes and dislike. It's like a little social experiment on him. I'm a curious little kid by nature, so this is very fun for me! 😋

Touch during Crisis

Image Source

When my boyfriend told me a sad story of his past relationship, instinctively I hold his hands real tight and hugged him. Why?

Because physical touch is a powerful communicator of love. In the time of crisis, we need to feel loved.

Loss of parents, disappointments in life, betrayal from others and fired from job weakens him. He needs love to get back up. Words may mean little, but a hug will communicate strongly and loudly that you care and love him.

My Story

I'm not a toucher in the first place. When I first found out his love language is Physical Touch, I was like "Huh?? So all I need to do is hug him and that's it? That's easy, right?"

To my disappoinment, it's not. In fact, I need to keep experimenting. To touch places that I have never touched before and check his reaction. Sometimes I ask him how does he feel when I touch here and there.

If I keep touching the same place with the same kind of touch, we'll get bored. So to keep our relationship alive and fun, I touch different places and observe his reactions.

I've found out that implicit touches have variations such as strokes, pats, rubs, tickles and squeezes. Slowly I experiment what kind of strokes, pats, rubs, squeeze and tickles he's comfortable with, and which he loves.

I try, observe, adjust and repeat.

I began learning to speak my boyfriend's love language, Physical Touch despite I'm not a toucher before.

Here's how,

1. Keep Trying and Keep Adjusting

Try new places and ask for feedback. Then adjust according to his feedback. Try, observe, adjust and repeat.

2. Do More Implicit Touches of Love

Find opportunities to touch her. Hug her from behind when she's cooking, touch her face when she's eating (maybe not), give her a good night kiss before she sleeps, hug her before she leaves to work, jump onto her after she's back from work. The possitibilities are endless!

3. Make It a HABIT

For me, I make it a habit that I will definitely hug him when he's back from work, or I'm back from work. I'll definitely hold his hands when we're walking side by side. Keep practicing everyday until you don't need to ask yourself "Should I touch him or not?"

4. Learn the Art of Touch

Like I've said, the only limitation is your imagination. This is an on-going learning journey for you and me. We gotta keep trying new places and find out if it's pleasant or annoying for them 😆

What say you?

What kind of touches does your partner like and dislike?
What have you done to learn the art of touch of your partner?
What other non-sexual touches you can think of? I need more ideas 😖
What kind of touches you can make them a habit which can be repeated daily?

Don't know your partner's love language? Request them to take the quiz here!

This Relationship Tips series include practical how's and what's of speaking your partner's love language. If your partner's love language is Physical Touch and Quality Time, I will share firsthand experiences of what I've done and its results :)

Relationship Tips is one of my initiative to help people improve their relationship based on a book I was reading The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman and my experiences.

Check out my series here:

I believe having a good relationship will carve a positive path in all areas of your life. This belief is backed up by an 80 year-old research by Harvard University.

@tifaong writes simple and positive practices and ideas that you can learn (or re-learn) and apply in your life immediately. She covers life lessons, self-help, relationships, positive thinking self-love. Her mission is to spread positivity so that we can live a happier life.

Check out her profile here to find out more 😁

She has committed to post daily, so rest assured that you will find something new everyday.

Relationship Tips #18 Master the Art of Touch, the Strongest Communicator of Love

He's very happy with my touches, so these tips are guaranteed 😎

The Power of Touch

Different Kinds of Touches

Explicit and Implicit Touch

Explicit

Implicit

Touch during Crisis

My Story

Here's how,

1. Keep Trying and Keep Adjusting

2. Do More Implicit Touches of Love

3. Make It a HABIT

4. Learn the Art of Touch

What say you?

Don't know your partner's love language? Request them to take the quiz here!

Getting Started with Love Language

Love Language #1 Words of Affirmation

Love Language #2 Quality Time

Love Language #3 Receiving Gifts

Love Language #4 Acts of Service