“I must work harder to achieve my goal of not seeking approval from those whose approval I’m not even sure is important to me.” — Lauren Graham

Thoughts on Today’s Quote

Children learn at an early age to seek the approval of the adults in their lives.

We’d much rather have mom and/or dad giving us their approval than being chastized. As part of our development we challenge the limits our parents set but still seeking their approval. We still seek the good feelings that come from mom or dad telling us we’re ‘good’.

Then we seek that approval from others, our teachers, other family members, other children, spouses, employers, customers and so on.

Having learned to seek approval, we then have to learn to discern the difference between wanting approval from people in our lives who truly matter and just wanting approval. In most situations, trying to gain approval from everyone, just makes you very unhappy as it is impossible to get and keep everyone’s approval.

Because we have been so attuned to seeking approval as children, it can be hard work to learn to be discerning who that approval matters from.

It is only as I’m getting older that I’m learning I first need to approve of myself and after that only the closest of friends does their approval matter and not necessarily all the time. If I feel strongly about doing something or about an issue, then it is my approval that matters most.

It still feels nice to get approval from just about an quarter. Which makes it very hard to be true to yourself when a stand is not popular.

If a friendship becomes strained over something I feel strongly about, then I need to evaluate how important that friendship is if I can’t be true to myself. It’s tough coming to that point and standing by it when the situation matters.

No one truly wants to feel alone on anything. Losing a friendship that truly matters can be pretty tough. It’s important to evaluate your stand without completely doubting yourself.

Do you find it hardwork to decide whose approval you seek?

Who is Lauren Graham?

Lauren Graham was born in March 1967 in Honolulu, Hawaii. She’s best known for her role in Gilmore Girls. After her family moved to Virginia when she was young, the family split and her father carried on raising the children while her mother moved to England where Lauren and her sister would visit.

Her dad was a lawyer. Her eventually started working for the National Confectioners Association. Her adoration of her father is evident. Lauren was a free-spirited child who loved books and letting her imagination run wild.

She started acting in theatre groups during high school. After graduation she moved to New York to attend the performing arts program at New York University. She left there to attend Columbia University’s womens college where she received her BA in American Literature.

She then attended Southern Methodist University’s graduate program at the School of Fine Arts in Dallas, Texas. There she earned her Masters of Fine Arts (MFA).

She then moved to Los Angeles to start her acting career. She guest starred in several shows and was a regular in some others before landing her lead role in Gilmore Girls in 2000. The show ran for seven seasons to much acclaim and a strong following.

Lauren also has appeared in several movies and on Broadway. An avid reader herself, she released her first novel in 2013, Someday, Someday, Maybe.

*I will try to find information on the author of the quotes I share. I wont always be successful.

Don’t know about you, but I find it interesting to know who the person was that anyone took the time to record or quote that person.*

About Coffee Time Meditation

I love being inspired by other people’s quotes. I thought I’d start sharing some quotes that inspire me along with my own thoughts the quote evokes within me. So, think of someone, like me, sitting quietly with the first fresh coffee of the day and mediating about the words of the quote. That would be me, or it could be you.

I invite you to share your own thoughts on the quote in the comments.

If you like this series, please upvote it and share with others.

Have a great day
Path to Success